December 19, 2014 (Top of Page)
Everything's done. Whew! Now what are you going to do? Drink with your friends and take a load off, that's what. It's time to head to the local bar and spend a few bucks. There's jazz music there and good fellowship, plus the high class booze. You can start the night with the Stork Club Cocktail. It's a refreshing jewel. If someone grew an orange tree watered with gin, this cocktail would be the juice squeezed from the magical fruit. It's fresh and flows lightly on the tongue with absolutely no pain, just joy. The dash of bitters helps bring some peel back to the juice. An experienced bartender will flame the twist, just to make things more legit. This beauty is naturally sweet and pretty well hard to beat. Good stuff! The Grappa Strega is a fine follow-up. The dry heat from the Grappa jet fuel gets calmed by the sweet Strega liqueur, resulting in a smooth flow of enlightened enjoyment. These opposites definitely attract. It's really good, nice and light, buoyed by the fresh fruit juices. It's the kind of drink that can get you into a holiday mood. 'Tis the season!
Bartender Dan
P.S. Tonight's our last Friday Drink Night of 2014. See you next year, pal!
December 12, 2014 (Top of Page) 
This Friday Drink Night marks a special night: Frank Sinatra's 99th birthday! He's not gone either, because he's playing Ralph's Bar, "Live From Las Vegas" via the intimate Theatre Ballroom inside the Golden Nugget. Dice are rolling, slot machines are ringing, and the Black Jack tables are full: "Hit me!" Your cocktail arrives, a French Kiss, gratis. You're a high roller and toss a chip for a tip, then take a sip. A sweet apricot richness slips in first, but then the straight bourbon imparts some seasoned leather to the show. It's a smack! This is a good one, strong, lively, and sweet. You can almost hear Frank say, "Swing, baby!" as the band launches into "I Get A Kick Out Of You." The place is jumping and the drinks keep coming. You get a White Russian and it mellows your mood. You coast in the milky comfort of the vodka-bolstered belt of iced coffee. They used the 70-proof special liqueur for an extra kick. Frank would approve. Time flies. Before you know it Old Blue Eyes is singing "Only One To A Customer" to let you know that after this drink, it's almost time to go. It certainly was a good nightcap. Happy Birthday, Frank!
Bartender Dan
December 5, 2014 (Top of Page)
The doors open into a hip scene. Judy Garland is singing. The place teems with deprived boozers. It's been a long two weeks; it almost felt like Prohibition! The conversation is buzzing. One regular shaved his head and now he looks like a villain. Word of an out-of-town boozer selling her pad stokes speculation on her next move. Everyone's in the groove drinking the Black Hawk. It's medicine for a cough, maybe a sniffle, just a little can set you straight. The drink is hard and friendly at the same time. It has simple berry sweetness matched with seriously smooth VO whisky. Contemplating the wide world from atop a bar stool comes easily while sipping this one. Lost in all the bar talk, your glass runs dry, but the Genoa backs you up quickly. It's stirred into fineness as was the first cocktail, but it tastes like two drinks in one: the first impression and the aftermath. First comes the Sambuca licorice and the Grappa grapes creating a unique candy. Second comes the delayed scorch and herbal complexity, letting you know there's a fire down below. All the while the olive waits. You'll earn your way to it. Fine cocktails, great music, and good fellowship: the scene is hip.
Bartender Dan
November 21, 2014 (Top of Page)
There's a bustle out on the street all day long. It's even there after the sun goes down: holiday shoppers stocking the horn of plenty, getting ready for the feast next Thursday. A few stop by the bar to have a drink. An opener to consider is the Canadian Cherry. It's got a sugar rim for candy, some cherry brandy, and juice for the blended whisky strength. You can sip it on ice and start planning your activities for tomorrow; shopping, most likely. The drink is smooth and stout, but goes down easy. Aah! Try the Thanksgiving Special Cocktail to close things out. It's seriously liquored, but there's a fruity apricot harvest going on in there, countering the burning gin and dry vermouth. It's shaken to mix, but no air bubbles can survive for long in its high-proof environment. It pours clear and displays its cherry ornament with holiday cheer. It's a cocktail that will warm your heart and that's just what you need to close out a cold, hectic day. You'll get a good start again tomorrow morning, but the rest of this night is for taking it easy, drinking with friends.
Bartender Dan
P.S. We're closed next Friday to recover from Thanksgiving. Enjoy your meal!
November 14, 2014 (Top of Page)
Snow fell lightly without a break, steadily from Thursday morning until Friday Drink Night. There was no wind, so it settled clean and straight, making every object outside look like Angel Food cake. The bar was open, as usual, but only the extreme locals dropped in. They could walk to their favorite drinking spot in a pinch. The sidewalk outside was cleanly shoveled as Frank entertained the hardy customers inside. Everybody was warm and happy. The drinking opened with the Bebbo Cocktail. It was just plain delicious! The honey sweetened the fresh juices and tamed the gin; no deleterious herbal effects were showing. The flow was soft and laid back, no strain, just pure enjoyment. The key was dissolving the honey into the other liquids with a bar spoon before adding any ice to the shaker. There was even a specialized cocktail cherry. To whoever invented this one: nicely done! On the other hand, the Ford Cocktail did bring some gin heat and warmed a few heart cockles. The Old Tom brought a woody bent, dried by the vermouth with an added liqueur sweetness. The twist and bitters shined through and rode on top of the gin. It was a stiff one. There was lots of snow, but it didn't stop the show. You can count on Ralph's to be open!
Bartender Dan
November 7, 2014 (Top of Page)
Life can be a crazy circus at times. Three rings of things to accomplish, but too little time. You might feel like you're going in circles, wondering about the purpose, but that's usually how it goes. Fortunately, you're sitting in here enjoying a Piccadilly Cocktail; everything must've worked out fine. Your drink is a stirred, ice-cold dry gin heater. It's great to feel the tingle as you boldly imbibe from a frosty glass. The dashes of Pernod and grenadine are just hints teasing above the pleasing grown-up sizzle. You can almost imagine a fog capping its watery surface. The drink is free-flowing and serious, just right for an accomplished denizen of the bar scene. That Shriner Cocktail you ordered as a follow-up sure is rich. The bold berry taste is rough inside its brandy encasement. It goes down strong with a holiday feel, but it could also live as cough medicine. You get used to it. The scent conjures up memories of something you can't quite place, but it feels like something good, maybe from childhood. The lemon twist shines like the sun to brighten your outlook along with the taste. You're drinking fine cocktails after a difficult day is done: it sure is fun. Cheers!
Bartender Dan
October 31, 2014 (Top of Page)
A peer up into the sky finds the half moon, buried behind wispy clouds lit with gloom. The neon sign in the window buzzes; thank goodness they're open. With a heavy pull, the crusty old door shrieks on metal hinges. It sends a shiver up your spine. Slow music floats out into the cold air, mixed with a murmur. Once inside, you swim the crowd to the bar. You don't have time to think when they sling you the drink, the Brain Hemorrhage. The ingredients hit the shot glass in recipe order, then the visuals take over. Wide eyes watch as you take the first worried sip. They burst out laughing as your face knots up: it's a mask of disgust! The schnapps is sweet, but the Irish cream curdles into something freaky, hiding its taste. If you've got problems with creepy textures on your tongue, you don't want to be drinking this one. Yikes! You move on to a Satan's Whiskers, hoping it isn't too hot or evil. It turns out to be quite tame. Orange dominates, but the taste becomes very complex as it settles in with the herbal variations from the vermouths and gin. Thankfully, you can handle this one with aplomb. Whew, what a fright! Then again, it is Halloween night.
Bartender Dan
October 17, 2014 (Top of Page)
Tuckered out. You just can't move anymore, but if you could score a couple of drinks things would definitely start looking up. Of course, you know just the place to go and belly up. Your first drink is the Red Cloud and it's about as good as a cocktail can get. It shakes into something bubbly and fresh, an icy apricot wonder with a bit of spice. Nobody could dislike this one; it'll make the favorites list for sure. It wasn't red, but the bartender said that was due to using an authentic grenadine, not some fake food-colored lesser brand. You already knew that taste is all that really matters and this one tasted like a winner. Your next cocktail is called the Bedtime Bouncer. It's a large dose, built in the glass: liquids first, then a stir, followed by ice and a healthy twist for garnish. It's cold, but warm at the same time; that's the brandy influence. The drink is not sweet, it's mildly bitter with a lemon peel demeanor. After a few double-straw sips, it feels like a blanket is being wrapped around your brain, lulling you to sleep. They sure named this one right. Good night!
Bartender Dan
P.S. We're closed next Friday, but we'll be back on Halloween!
October 10, 2014 (Top of Page)
The sun goes down and they're always there, on time. One holding the door open while the others pile down the stairs. The owner's on the corner stool as they assume their usual places. There's J. Bogart and the Vegas Kid, launching into telling everything about what they did this week. It's another bustling Friday night. The Bunny Bonanza is in their hands in no time. It required any tequila so the bartender went with the gold. It has bite with some bristle and there's no ice, just a fresh lemon slice. The flavors fight, making them easy to find. The maple scent is clear and its flavor goes well with the blue agave. There's tension as the apple brandy tries taking control, being the other base liquor. The triple sec and citrus juice form a sweet and sour, borrowing sugar off the syrup. It's all there for the boozers to enjoy. Their talk becomes more lively as their drinks drain down. The bartender stirs up an icy palate cleanser with intent. The resulting cocktail, Blanche, is a shocker and it stops the talkers cold. It tastes like a liquid licorice jelly bean and has a rich and superfine slippery texture. It's an exclamation point on a darned good time. Things sure go fast when you're having a great night out on the town.
Bartender Dan
October 3, 2014 (Top of Page)
If everything's a shock, even that gets boring. It's like when mediocrity gets rolling: you've got to do something to make it stop. Luckily, it's a short hop to the local bar. You can get something unique there, something that makes you gulp the air to make you realize you're still alive. Here's a cocktail that'll accomplish the task: the Absinthe Minded. It's a hot, high-proof shot. It gets shaken with ice for a minimal time, then poured, ready to blister. Sharp anise bites the tip of your tongue; it's brazen. You can detect the raspberry flavor buried there, but you'll have to pause your swallow to analyze things. Finding the lemon is more of a mystery, but feeling the pain isn't. Yikes! This is the kind of drink you order just to say you've done it. The antidote is the smooth Banshee. It's creamy, cool and sweet, nothing like its name implies: nobody is wailing or signaling anyone's going to die. It's here to help you survive! The banana and cocoa are delicately balanced and the sweetness isn't overdone, but fine and dandy. It's the perfect milkshake to soothe things after the shock of the first drink. What a roller coaster ride! That's what it feels like to truly be alive.
Bartender Dan
September 26, 2014 (Top of Page)
You got your ducks in a row. You shot'em down. There's nothing like success to warrant a celebration, out on the town, with friends around. Your bartender is a friend, that's for sure. The first drink you order is a South Of The Border, because you need some kind of vacation. It might look boring and brown, but it bursts with colorful, bold flavors. The lime is bright and the coffee is rich; the agave flips the switch and you've got a festive punch to keep you warm and happy. It's thick like nectar too. Of course, the bartender knew just how long to shake it. This cocktail is great! You and your buddies finish the round and go for the Zed next. It plays like a cooler for daylight drinking, almost like a breakfast drink even; the pineapple juice does it. The orange brandy imparts a medicinal undertone that cuts through to give the highball strength. The gin is well in the background, thinning things out, removing heaviness. It's foamy and friendly, almost like a shake. You don't feel like you're drinking alcohol at all. Now, that's dangerous, but not for the experienced boozer. You line up your ducks, then shoot'em down. Hey, you're even thinking about another round, that's how good you are.
Bartender Dan
September 19, 2014 (Top of Page)
Booze keeps you healthy. It's a germ slayer. It's a painkiller. You don't have to be a swiller to reap its wealth of benefits, just drink within reason. It's good for all seasons. The fellowship garnered from carousing with friends will prove beneficial to your mental health too. Keep yourself lubricated with fine liquor and it'll be smooth sailing. Speaking of smooth, try the Outrigger next time you're out. Its high quality fruit liqueurs soften the rum and lime juice base into a smiley taste. It's a happy tropical punch, a little tart, a little sweet. You'll probably drink it too fast, then find it has a delayed fuse. Use caution. Boy, does it taste good! Follow up with a South Pacific. It's another tropical treat with a solid brandy center wrapped in pineapple. It's foamy and comfortable, but there's invisible vodka in there; it adds a sneaky oomph! The lemon juice brightens the soft pineapple to spark up the action. The grenadine is lost, probably an attempt at color. Your metaphorical boat might list a bit by the time you finish it, but you'll still be looking to land another one.
Don't forget to raise the toast: To your health! Na zdrowie!
Bartender Dan
September 12, 2014 (Top of Page)
Where? Who? After two long years out of sight, the Portlander sashayed through the door once more, this time towing a buddy named Bella. Everyone was smiling as the festivities launched with high expectations. The Portlander gifted some bottles and homemade ginger syrup and ginger sugar for the construction of the first cocktail: the Pomegranate Fizz. Gin, juice, and syrup were shaken, then poured short to allow room for a bubbly topping of Prosecco. It was delicious, fruity and sparkly light, with a fine balance. The glass rim coating was a soft accent on the overall excellence. The ginger flavors cut through and put a root flare up the nose, but it was just right. The cocktail went great with another gift: Raspberry Fudge Ganache Cake. What a treat! The Scofflaw Cocktail really had a tough act to follow, but shined brightly. Its rye flavor was light and springy and refreshingly dry. The grenadine and lemon tasted ultra-fine too. The whole cocktail was a subtle fresh flow, just a beautiful experience. This drink went straight to the favorites list. Wow! The lofty expectations were more than met tonight. Here's to hoping the Portlander reappears next year!
Bartender Dan
September 5, 2014 (Top of Page)
The weather outside is starting to show some cool, but there's plenty of heat in that glass, procured from your position on that bar stool. There's a clean dry heat coming off your Wembley Cocktail. It's a classic dry martini lightly splashed with apricot and apple notes; the tune is a good one. The potent gin plays large, everything else costars, but that's fine, you were looking for a good belt. Your complimentary smoked Gouda on light, buttery crackers sure is a tasty offset. Excellent combo! The Mainbrace you ordered for an encore hits the spot. It has that gin heat, but this time it's sweet. The grape juice and orange liqueur treatment adds density and a sugary slipperiness. It holds its cold and takes you on a boozy candy ride. It's easy to drink, but still makes you think you just might be getting sloshed ... and you are! Speaking of heat, you notice your seat is getting hot. How long have you been loitering in this here local bar?
Bartender Dan
August 29, 2014 (Top of Page)
You got the news. Good or bad, it usually calls for booze. This time the news was great, so drinks all around! Woo-hoo! When it's time to celebrate, a rich Boulevardier can't miss. The bartender used a bittered sweet vermouth to pair with some old Campari that had lost some of its nastiness. The alchemy worked beautifully, producing a cocktail with a deep pool of flavors: fruity, sweet, bitter and rugged, all at the same time. It had a smooth and clingy flow with a cherry down below, stirred to liquid perfection. If you could be as rich as this one drinks, you'd be in good stead. A big night of celebration calls for at least two drinks. The Corkscrew answered that call and then some, stirring into something strong and tastefully peachy. The dryness of the light rum and vermouth tamped the sweetness of the liqueur, keeping things serious. A twist and dunk of the lime slice added a lively sprinkle of sparkling citrus to the mix. You could really get into trouble ordering another round of these. As it was, the night turned into a really good jag. The news came in, it was a win, and the drinks were darned good. The future is looking bright!
Bartender Dan
August 22, 2014 (Top of Page)
It's been a tough night of gambling, also known as losing. Sometimes you don't know when to wrap it up and call it a bad beat. You take a seat at the bar and order the Casino. The gin dose is featured a little hot, so it's strong enough to get mean. Smooth maraschino, lemon, and orange jump and skip trying to stay on top, but the gin always hits the spot, center stage, wearing a tuxedo. When losing finds you choosing this cocktail to drown your sorrows, things can't be too bad. Frank is belting out "Luck Be A Lady" and the pain starts to go away; this bar sure knows how to entertain. With your few coins left, you order up a Mule's Hind Leg; you might as well get kicked in the head. Its maple syrup and ancient liqueur come forward to sweeten an impressive lineup of heavy hitters. It tastes really good, icing the pain, but it does kick like a mule. A couple of healthy sips and you're feeling some drift. A few more hits and it's empty, now you've got only ice. You stare at your glass and it feels like a metaphor. It's time to call it a night. You'll have better luck next time.
Bartender Dan
August 15, 2014 (Top of Page)
It's a story as old as cocktail time: the sullen personage who bellies up to pass some time. An experienced bartender analyzes, won't ask what you think, just makes the drink. The Leatherneck Cocktail is the call, a soft and moody citrus tincture with a serious flow. It's mainly whisky, but you'd never know from tasting. It's fruity with enough brightness to find the new horizon, but there's also a murkiness that wants to sink low. It's just what this customer needed, tasting like victory, though maybe fatigued. With one down, a request comes for one more. The Monkey Gland charges out of the frosty shaker with a vintage glow, delivering absolute enjoyment. Its freshly squeezed orange juice sparkles over the anise tinge of the old-time liqueur. The gin is in and hidden like a gem and the grenadine teases a delicate sweetness, rounding out the excellent mix. It goes down with ease. The silent customer eventually gets up to leave. At least now there's a slow, faraway smile. The bartender watches the visage go and somehow knows, "Until next time, friend."
Bartender Dan
August 1, 2014 (Top of Page)
Truth be told, even on vacation you can't stay out in the sun all day, not if you don't want to get heatstroke. You've got to find someplace cool every now and then, duck on in, you know, and get something liquefied. If you've got to leave your friends outside, so be it. Just belly up. It's a stroke of luck if you can find the Beachcomber's Gold on the drink menu. The bottles look scary at first, but it's darned tasty on the serve. It's easy, light, and fine with an olive hint up front that switches to grape on the finish; that's the sweet vermouth breaking over the dry liquor wave. They stir it for clarity and pour it cold, clean and strong. It'll hang with you a long time, but you follow it with the Seaboard anyway. This one is a surprise pairing: whisky and gin. You wouldn't think it could win, but it works out great. There's a light lemonade feel to it with just enough sweet. The sprig of mint keeps it fresh while the ice keeps it lean and clean. Your cocktails sure packed a bundle. You try not to stumble as you venture back outside. You spy your friends: there they are, baking in the hot sun.
Bartender Dan
P.S. Speaking of vacations, we'll be closed next Friday. See you soon!
July 25, 2014 (Top of Page)
Tired of standing up, you climb a stool to sit down. It's been another hot one in this town. You wipe some sweat off your brow and beckon the Black Rose. The bartender fills a rocks glass with ice, then matures it with Kentucky straight bourbon, two dashes of bitters, one of sweet. It gets a bar spoon mix followed by a twist of lemon, sprayed for cover, then it's in your hand. The first drag is a hard slap in the face; it's just what you need. Every now and then you've got to take your medicine in this dog-eat-dog world, so bottoms up! You finish the icy pain and welcome the Leo Special. It's like an apology from the bar, a total winner. The taste is almost tropical, light and lively. All the elements blend perfectly and none are easy to single out; it's an excellent recipe. You float and smile as you drink it down. It's too bad it had to end. You'll swing back some other day and share it with friends. You drop down off the stool and head towards the door. Whatever's out there, now you're ready for more. You've just had a hardy taste of the good life. Cheers!
Bartender Dan
July 18, 2014 (Top of Page)
Everybody knows when the peaches are in season that gives you ample reason to order the Peach Margarita. It doesn't take long for it to slide across the bar and into your hand for that first quick sip. The bartender shook it so hard it tastes like it came out of a blender. It sure is put together, peachy and mild without any citrus yelp. It goes great with the house chips and salsa. The rim is salty and the peach slice is at peak freshness. If a frosty margarita comes your way on a hot summer day, you've got it made! Before long, you're slurping the last drop and wondering what's next. The barkeep suggests it would be keen to try his newly altered version of the Brandy Sour: he swaps in a bing cherry for the maraschino. You take a swig and absorb a tart punch well-hidden inside the visual viscosity. The brandy is smooth and in control, but the lemon juice tries to shock and nearly succeeds. You master it and everything flows and you start to feel the glow. The clementine orange slice is fine and the deep, dark bing cherry is firm and full of flavor; it's a nice touch. Hey, you don't want to leave this place ... everything tastes great!
Bartender Dan
July 11, 2014 (Top of Page)
Everything returned to normal after the holiday break. The Vegas Kid was back in position, looking thirsty. A certain J. Bogart didn't show his face; smart move. The Biggest Boozer was in the usual groove, bending an elbow. A newcomer bellied up too, a Mr. Baxter, but he wasn't drinking. What was he thinking? Everyone else was enjoying the Tidal Wave. It was an icy highball that could beat the heat on any sunny deck, perfect for evaporating sweat. The Mandarine brandy aroma wafted the topside and flowed steadily down into the flavor deep. The bitter lemon was barely sweet and delivered its quinine and lemon peel with aplomb. The drink was built in the glass over ice, lightly stirred. Very refreshing! The Gin Garden was great, but an effort to make. The cucumber and liqueur were muddled in the tin, then the gin, juice, and ice were added, followed by a hearty shake. The pour was double-strained to catch any debris. It was garden fresh! The flowery cordial mellowed and sweetened the gin until it was almost thick and the apple juice and cucumber were a natural pair. The cucumber taste really shined. The boozers were catching up on their drinking and feeling quite merry ... maybe Mr. Baxter drove them all home.
Bartender Dan
June 27, 2014 (Top of Page) 
This and that: you deal with one, then do the other. By the time your week is done, you've just about had enough. It's time for something on the rocks; you need to cool off. You head to your favorite watering hole down the street. It has comfortable bar stools and the drink you need: the El Diablo. Things slow down as you sip the cold, sparkling tequila soda. The drink doesn't bite, it pinches. The ginger and lime deftly combine with the gold tequila over a dose of red sweetness. It's built in the glass, the ginger ale going in last, followed by a light stir and garnish. You can't help but relax, this cocktail is laid-back. Your mood starts to leaven by the time you're ordering the Seventh Heaven. It comes at you with body, vapor, and deep flavor, like a newly formed liqueur. The grapefruit juice adds a fresh sweetness and slight bitterness, but the maraschino wins. The gin sears everything. You take a sip and breathe it in wrong; it paralyzes your nasal passages. The difficulty makes you smile, because that's all right, this turned into a good night.
Bartender Dan
P.S. We'll be closed for the 4th of July. See you again on the 11th!
June 20, 2014 (Top of Page)
A determined J. Bogart rolled up tonight in a red hot ride. He parked it just outside, then ventured into Ralph's Bar. He heard the Vegas Kid couldn't make it, so he came over just to take it: the bar stool situated on the right side, the Kid's position of power. The Biggest Boozer was wandering in and sat down and stared, thinking it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. The bartender didn't blink and served up the drink: Angler's Cocktail. They reeled it in, followed by a boast of a toast, "To the Vegas Kid!" The first drag was bitter and thin with a lot of fight. The added accents rotated on a flavor wheel of Angostura to orange to pomegranate sweetness, working the icy gin swim. The ice clinked and sweat to tame the power as time went on; this wasn't one of those cocktails you just sling down. The newly formed crew was riding high and when their tumblers ran dry, they ordered the Sloppy Joe's Cocktail. It was tangy, maybe too sour, but it still went down with a smile. A vigorous shake made it light and easy with a snappy foam top. It was an eye opener that keeps you on your toes; that's what you need. If you don't pay attention, somebody's going to make their move and take your spot!
Bartender Dan
June 13, 2014 (Top of Page)
You know it's your lucky day when you hear a friend say, "Have a drink on me!"
Go ahead and order a really big drink. When somebody's feeling flush, let them buy something substantial. The Mint Collins is a good choice. The construction of the drink is a show. A chilled collins glass is filled with the gin, juice, sugar, and mint leaves, then some muddling ensues to release the minty flavor. Next, the glass is filled with ice and topped up with chilled sparkling water, followed by a light stir. After the lemon wheel hugs the rim, you are in, pal. It's total refreshment, a long-lasting flow of minty lemon lightness swirling around a carbonated gin core. The taste is hard to beat as it hovers perfectly between sour and sweet, liquidating all your troubles. And it was free, buddy! You dig into your wallet and follow it up with the X.Y.Z. Cocktail. This one is a winner, a tasty orange and lemon grinner. The flavor is really condensed and pure with a semi-rough finish from the textured light rum. This cocktail has a potent thickness that makes you want to go all in. Slick! Whether they're free or whether you pay, good drinks always make it your lucky day.
Bartender Dan
June 6, 2014 (Top of Page)
Friday is the designated day for enjoying cocktails here at Ralph's Bar. Today also marks the anniversary of a much more important date. Seventy years ago on this day undaunted allies stormed the beaches of Normandy, France. They braved hails of ordnance in the surge and the spray to secure a firm foothold for the freedoms we enjoy today. Salute! The bartender served the Normandy Cocktail to commemorate. It's a stout cocktail for serious drinkers. The apple and apricot flavors rotate coming to the front while the dry gin bristles its support. The drink has good balance and goes down smooth enough. Too bad no French Calvados was in the bar's inventory; an American substitute was used. The next cocktail was a celebration: the Belmont Stakes. You could run a long way with this one, it's light and lively and fruity as all get-out. It's good-time drinking. Once again, the bar's inventory was short on strawberry liqueur, but raspberry came through in a pinch. The vodka diluted the rum to let the fruity flavors shine. Happy stuff! Yes, today is the Designated Day: "To our betters, here and gone, who fought the good fight, time and again, so we could live on!"
Bartender Dan
May 30, 2014 (Top of Page)
They're coming in, it's definitely them: the steady boozers and their drinking friends. They belly up smiling, knowing the good times started the minute they walked in the door. Before long they're toasting themselves with crystal clear pours of the Gradeal Special. The bartender stirred the cocktail into fineness with the usual flair. The drink has a strong air of apricot coming off the top and the feel is slippery. The taste is fruity and rich, but packs some serious heat. They take it in and a short while later heads start to swim; it's potent liquor; now the festivities really start to kick in. They imbibe bravely right on through and transition to the Grapeshot. It tastes like garden fresh greens mixed with a natural fruit sweetness. The depth of the bold gold tequila binds with the joyful lightness of the grape juice; the curaçao provides the bridge.
The cocktail plays like a tasty tune, settling in over time. The bar gets into a friendly flow as the boozers dose themselves into a semi-haze of bar stories and laughter; that's what they came here for. Let the good times roll!
Bartender Dan
May 23, 2014 (Top of Page)
Was the job well done? Then it's time to have some fun. Since it's the end of the week, maybe you could go to a party. Then again, how about hitting the bar? Just hunker down and enjoy a couple of world class cocktails; have your party in a glass. Get something you can really admire, like the Bee's Knees. It's a little cloudy, but the flavor is clear: fresh oranges and gold rum, enough to make you numb with satisfaction. Each sip is a tasty situation: lightly sweet, a little lime spicing, the rum is deep, but the orange flavor levels are the main attraction. It's a real pleaser with a substantial texture that could send you deep into thought. If you're thinking clearly, you'll order a frosty Greenback next. The color could make you think it'll be too minty, but that's not the case. The mint balances well with the gin and lemon juice for a light and free-flowing down-the-hatch party winner. You could easily gulp it down and find yourself ordering another round. Its value is inherent as the ice cold cubes continuously keep it fresh with a thirst-quenching deliciousness. Just make sure you can pay the freight, because nothing's free. Then again, that's why you work the job; it's to stay in the green.
Bartender Dan
May 16, 2014 (Top of Page)
Let's go to the bar, buddy. It's not too far and the perfect place for washing the pains of the week away. You can send those niggles right down the drain, just laugh it all off. Let's go! It's time to carouse with your friends. We'll order a Polish Sidecar to start the show. You'll like it. The flavor is solid: a blackberry-infused dry botanical gin tingling with an acidic lemon sting. It has a liquored complexity that's hard to beat. There's also a fresh blackberry garnish for a treat. When's the last time you've had a nice, juicy blackberry? Let's get one of those and have a good time! A fine follow-up would be an iced Morro; they serve it in a sugar-rimmed rocks glass. The power part is dark rum and gin; you wouldn't think that could win, but it does. The gin texture keeps the drink light and thin. The rum bonds with an equal portion of pineapple and sweetened lime juice and it yields a pretty pleasing mix. You've got to try it at least once. I bet they've got good appetizers to go with it too.
The week's done, let's tie one on!
Bartender Dan
May 9, 2014 (Top of Page)
The bar had the proper mix of darkness and light; the singer was flawless, the band was tight. People were wandering in, nobody was leaving. The regulars had their spots for the night, watching the bartender shake. The finished cocktail was strained, filling chilled glassware: in came the Blue Train. The twist was expressed, an orange oil spray for the top, then dropped in, sinking. The first ice-blue taste was effervescent and satisfying, like a fine bubbly. It was the heat of the gin tamed until nice, sprinkled with playful orange and spry lemon accents. The drink was perfectly crafted into something sublime, making it one smooth ride. All aboard! The French Martini was waiting at the station; poured frothy pineapple with a raspberry blend. Slippery vodka fortified the pleasing punch, giving it a deceptive oomph. It was way too easy to drink, disappearing down the sink, soaking in. Who knew eyebrows could lose their feeling? The bar was full of stars tonight and the mix was right. The patrons drank, but not to the point of reeling; they're too classy for that.
Bartender Dan
May 2, 2014 (Top of Page)
These hardened boozers won't go home! They arrive under the sun and don't leave until it's long since gone. When the drinking's done, they don't want to hit the street. Why should they? The bar is a comfortable home away from home and when excellent cocktails flow, fellowship grows like a weed. Tonight was no exception. The Blinker poured first and the amount of grapefruit juice had everybody ready to wince. It was mild instead. The rye tamped down any sharpness, making it a super-friendly cocktail. One boozer chimed, "I could have this for breakfast with bacon and eggs!" Now that's boozer talk for sure. Everyone was smiling and favorably slugging it down. The next round came with some trepidation due its name: Swamp Water. There was nothing to worry about, though. It was a deep, flavorful rum washed with a flood of fresh fruit flavors. The drink was deceptively juicy, easy and icy-clean, but as dangerous as a gator; the alcohol was lurking, ready to turn you into the Swamp Thing on an over-guzzle. The cold clung on the outer glass like humidity, but there was nothing oppressive, only enjoyable refreshment. The hardened boozers had a swell time tonight, so they'll be coming back next week ... if they ever leave.
Bartender Dan
April 25, 2014 (Top of Page)
Jailbreak! The boozers came in tonight looking like they just broke out of the cocktail hoosegow, thirsty, two weeks dry. "Here's mud in your eye!" exclaimed the bartender, purveying the Roselyn Cocktail. The parched participants almost slurped in their need and all agreed: this drink was excellent. The balance of dry gin and arid vermouth was superfine with just the right amount of ice cold water. Everything was smooth. The grenadine added no color, but its flavor was findable and light as a feather. The sunshine making everything grow came from the lemon twist, coiled for show. What a way to get back in the swing! Without a hitch, the boozers demanded a Bourbon Sidecar to follow up. It was beautiful and bubbly, an uplifting lemony bourbon, orangey and smooth. There was nothing but happiness all the way down. It paired well with Italian meatballs hot from the bar's oven. A sizzling appetizer; a cold whisky cocktail: super-tasty! The boozers wet their whistles and then some and by the looks of it, they're going to be coming back next week for more fun. No worries here. Ralph's Bar will be open, serving good fellowship one cocktail glass at a time.
Bartender Dan
April 11, 2014 (Top of Page)
In contention, that's where you want to be. Then again, there's nothing better than being in the lead. Some contests last a long time; if it's lifelong, what a grind! It's no wonder you need a drink. Belly up for a short break. You can sink into a comfortable seat and master your game with a cocktail in hand. If you're down and out, but dreaming of a big comeback, maybe you'll hoist the Hole-In-One. It's loaded scotch; front, back, and center. It tastes sour, not in a tart way, but more in a spoiled milk kind of way. You might feel like you're being punished. Hey, maybe that's just what you deserve. This drink is not for the casual boozer ... not saying that person would be a loser, but this cocktail swings with the pros. Try a Cherry Blossom if you want to feel happy. It has a buttery smooth brandy base with fine and fruity flavors accented with a sweet potency. This cocktail will make you smile all the while you're taking your break. It's a spirit lifter that'll get you back in the game, no problem, and if you're feeling good, you play to win!
Bartender Dan
P.S. We're closed next Friday for Easter break. See you in two weeks!
April 4, 2014 (Top of Page)
External Power Fault! At about T minus 4 hours and 8 minutes until Booze Time, the power grid in the Ralph's Bar neighborhood collapsed. The bartender was in the parking lot when two loud hums were heard a block away, sounding like some kind of train engine. When he returned to the bar: nothing. Legacy phones were employed to warn all the regulars. Friday Drink Night was threatened; this had never happened before! Luckily, at T minus 20 minutes the power came back on. The lights flickered and the jukebox roared to life with Tony Bennett singing "Old Devil Moon." The boozers hit the bar stools and launched into a tasty Astronaut. It was hard lemonade, but dry, not sweet. The lemon was tart to start, but acclimation didn't take long; squeezing the wedge got you more. The passion fruit added a hint of specialness for a festive and refreshing round trip. A soft landing occurred with the La Jolla. Its rightly ripe banana core tapered into the minor lemon and orange; a superb blend. The brandy gave a caramel heft that was still light, but full of depth. It was the right stuff. Things were in high action tonight. Instead of singing the "Power Out Blues," good times ensued. Here's to you and that quality booze!
Bartender Dan
March 28, 2014 (Top of Page)
Now that it's spring, you can't help but anticipate the good times coming your way. You'll be outside, sitting somewhere with a lazy view, maybe you'll be at a barbecue. The warm weather will require a cool drink in your hand; life will be grand! But not today, because the weather stinks. Well, you can still drink booze. Try simulating the good life by hoisting a refreshing Chapala. This one is nothing but tasty. Every ingredient plays in harmony so your taste buds can rotate the flavor wheel: orange, lime, pomegranate, and smooth agave. With two straws you can sip away, quenching your thirst, contentedly watching the flora bathe in the sun. Ah, that's the life! You can try the Tequila Sour at a later hour. It tastes sweet and sour, sharp and thick, and it'll raise your eyebrows a bit. It's like a personal party punch bowl with fruit to boot. Try a side of tortilla chips and salsa to add a little spice for good measure. This cocktail is perfect for warmer weather and the pursuit of good times. So let's drink to the coming of spring ... one of these days!
Bartender Dan
March 21, 2014 (Top of Page)
The stars are bright in the sky tonight, there are no clouds. As you slip into the dimly lit joint, Frank is singing "Come Fly With Me." You'd like to take a trip, just fly away, but it's not in the cards anytime soon. That doesn't mean you can't "use some exotic booze" from that "bar in far Bombay." You'll source it locally. You belly up and spin around, then come back to focus. The barkeep flames off the orange peel on your Boulevard and serves the cocktail. You take a sample: it's fancy orange with a hardy rye eye, oily, but also a little dry. It's clear and strong, but there's nothing wrong if you send it down the hatch in sensible doses, like taking it for a stroll. Nice! You start thinking about the stars again and order a Marlene Dietrich for the encore. It's up to you to squeeze the wedges and finish the mix; you dunk them to incorporate the juice. You end up with a solid and sophisticated whisky on the rocks tailored for big shots who don't need to flaunt. The bitters excite the blended show and it has an orange tinge with a deep flow. You drink like you mean it and talk like you know because it tastes important. You're feeling like a star in your own right now. That's quite a good night for one weary soul. Bottoms up!
Bartender Dan
March 14, 2014 (Top of Page)
If you're putting on a show, you'd better get your act together. The more you practice, the better off you'll be. Rolling the dice at the last minute isn't the way to go, not for those in the know. Even when prepared, you could still get the jitters waiting for your intro. In that case, a Green Room might help grease the trepidation. It's an opening cocktail, stirred until cold and very tasty. The dry vermouth bolstered by brandy is fruity and refined with a very light touch. The orange mist on top and persistent twist keep a fresh citrusy sparkle going the whole way. When you finish up, this drink won't put you off your game. If it's not time to hit the stage yet, maybe you could sneak in an Emerald Isle Cocktail. It's a minty gin spike of life. The stir doesn't yield the expected green jewel as the bitters brown it up like a cola. Enjoyment is not a problem, though. You'll be drinking it with gusto while the luck of the Irish descends upon you. The maraschino cherry really soaks up the liquor and provides an explosion of final flavor. It rolls down into your mouth, a tasty fruit morsel on a glass slide. Hey, it's time for the show! Now get out there and knock'em dead!
Bartender Dan
March 7, 2014 (Top of Page)
Boozers have got to drink. After a tough week has passed, they need something in a glass to make things right. There's nothing to think about besides going out and landing a comfortable bar stool. Yes, indeed. Barkeep! The White Lily was the first salve for the week's pain. If the aim was to be tasty, the goal was met. The triple sec dominated with its orange flavor and oily texture for some slippery flowage. Watch for glass rim dribble. The Pernod was tastefully done, just enough to add a hint of anise mystery. The boozers might have been thinking of the flower, but they were really drinking for power. The combo of gin and rum had a smooth and substantial depth. The drink got the wink! After finishing up, the drinkers moved on to the Ladies' Cocktail. These ladies are tough! It didnt taste as rough as the ingredients suggest though. The Pernod and bitters imparted an old-time hard candy flavor to the whisky that brought roughhouse enjoyment. The pineapple spike acted as a flavor switcher, causing a nice reset between sips. The boozers nibbled the spears down, glad to be on the town, taking away a little pain. Just hangin' around, drinking, laughing, and having a good time!
Bartender Dan
Feburary 28, 2014 (Top of Page)
You're closing out the week and nothing's changed: life's still a gamble and you've placed another bet. It hasn't played out yet, so there's nothing left to do but get a drink. Your favorite bar isn't far. You amble in without any strain because you know how to play the game. It's a hectic Friday night and the belly-up has you confronting the Amber Dream. The bartender builds it in the glass over ice and stirs to mix. He flames the orange peel. As you watch the citrus mist flare out, you're hoping it's not a metaphor for your latest bet. The drink turns out to be your buddy. The named color isn't there, it's clear, but it sure is refreshing. It drinks like a dream with tasteful hints of orange and Chartreuse. It's clean and dry, easy and cool; superb with the extra dry French vermouth. An excellent gin win! After finishing, you find a Yellow Fingers in your hand. It's a potent and creamy banana milk to comfort the bettor's soul. The sweet blackberry accent is a hit. The cocktail's nice to know, but it numbs your eyeballs. It might be too easy to drink and flows like it's good for you. If only things could always be that easy.
Bartender Dan
Feburary 21, 2014 (Top of Page)
When a sophisticated boozer mounts the bar stool, they're paying homage to the cocktail. When they put down legal tender, they're expecting someone to render a world class drink, something to make them think. The local sophisticates hit the bar and bought into the Montmartre for tonight's opener. It was top notch! The artful blend of ingredients produced a smooth and spicy orange elixir with a slight sizzle that was powerful and in the groove. The boozing had the local connoisseurs imagining the white-domed Basilica on top of a hill. To reach it, they had to pass through the haunts of great artists who lived in the district below. One of the locals had even been there! A few sips of this drink and you are traveling well. The Bolero stamped in for the encore. It was rum dryness on apple rocks and spicier than the first cocktail. The flavor was deep with a watery texture. The boozers savored some Jarlsberg cheese chunks sans crackers as a semi-bland offset. It worked well with the strong drink. When they shook their glasses, the ice started clicking like castanets; that's cocktail music. The big money was well-spent tonight!
Bartender Dan
Feburary 14, 2014 (Top of Page)
One sip and that's it, you're falling in love with a cocktail. Some are great, but others so-so. It all depends on how they're presented. Were they set up by someone in the know? When done right, you'll be ordering again and again, then the relationship begins. You're a happy boozer! But every now and then you'll be looking for something new and tonight it's the Woman Warrior. This cocktail has a bit of lime sizzle, but it's mostly vodka-smooth, tinged with a moderate orange taste coming out of the blue. The whole package is pretty pleasing, but the vodka is potent. It could lay you out like a defeated foe, so be wary! If you're still looking for cocktail love, you could try the Head-Over-Heels. The liquor and juice are shaken first and set aside. A sugar cube is placed in the empty glass and bitters are sprinkled, staining flavor into the cube, then the shaker gets poured. The remaining glass is topped up with bubbly. It's a lot of show, but not much go. The lime is only a minor enhancement to the brut champagne's effervescence. The sugar cube crumbles and stays on the bottom, not noticeable until the end. There's not much here, but the beauty is you can come back next Friday. Maybe you'll fall in love with something new then.
Bartender Dan
February 7, 2014 (Top of Page)
You slump into the bar, but stop short in deference to catch the mood. Bebop's playing, it's a bittersweet tune. Quiet silhouettes are interacting. Sometimes they motion: the bartender catches every move, mastering the situation. Trills come from the trumpet ... everybody looks cool. You beeline to the bar and have what they are, the Olympic Cocktail. The scent of orange is clear. The initial taste presents itself as light and fresh, but ages miraculously to thicken and caramelize by the time you swallow. It's brandied orange magic. The look comes off dense, but there's nothing heavy except where it counts: the alcohol. Easy does it. The alto sax blows a snaky solo as you transition into a Red Kiss. It has a prominent cherry nose, then the taste follows with an uplifting, dry and bright cherry flavor. The texture is thin, flowing easily, cold and wonderful. It's an eyebrow lifter delivering consistent enjoyment all the way down to the maraschino garnish. Dry vermouth in the lead ... who knew? You down it and then lazily spin around. The dimly lit bar is a little smoky. You realize the crowd is more than cool. Bebop.
Bartender Dan
January 31, 2014 (Top of Page)
Boozers are thankful for booze. A fine cocktail is like a buddy, something you hope you'll never lose. They can be hard or soft and they'll make you talk, so that good fellowship never stops once you're on a roll. The local boozers came strolling in tonight looking for said good times, starting things off with the Bombay Cocktail. It was a hard drink with an easygoing attitude, prepared with a stir to keep the all-liquor ingredients crystal clear. The taste was complex and smooth, like some kind of liquid wood, maybe polished cherry. It was spicy and fruity and potent enough to put you on your back if downed too fast. Not a problem tonight: the regulars are enlightened boozers, they don't sling drinks like fools. The second cocktail was a soft one, the Grenada. The place was out of navel oranges, so the bartender had to squeeze a bunch of mandarins. Topper was a couple of crossed cinnamon stick crumbles, making it feel like dessert. The gold rum dropped back, becoming one with the fresh juice, and the vermouth put in a little spice. It almost tasted like the filling from a homemade peach pie. What a treat! The drinking here is easy, so come back next week. We'll be expecting you.
Bartender Dan
January 24, 2014 (Top of Page)
You're coming in from the frigid haze, looking for a stiff belt to end the day. Another week is closed on the ledger, so now it's time to hoist a drink. You belly up and order a King Cole Cocktail. The bartender starts muddling some fruit and sugar in a glass while you fumble for your cash. He says it's hard to muddle pineapple, but delivers a good mash. He adds whisky and lots of ice, then a thorough stir to make it nice. You take the first hit: it's a little bitter from the crushed peel, but that happens to be how you feel. You push a sawbuck across the bar and wave off the change as you take another sip. The whisky's strong; this isn't something you'll be pounding down. Old King Cole was a merry old soul, but he also must've been one heck of a boozer! You slowly drain the glass reminiscing on Nat Cole, he was such a great singer. By the time you look around, a friend comes to sit down and you both order the Joulouville. It's sweet, but not heavy. Somehow grapefruit and apricot flavors are conjured. There's a light sizzling quality coming off the hard stuff. The cocktail goes great with your savory appetizer and everything becomes easy to consume. This sure is a comfortable bar room.
Bartender Dan
January 17, 2014 (Top of Page)
What are the keys to success? Knowing what's wrong and knowing what's best. And if you can open one door, you'll probably find there's always one more, because that's the nature of the quest. While you're striving, take a break every now and then. Drop by your local bar. Ask for a Three Miller Cocktail and try to figure out why it's so good. The interesting taste will have you drinking without haste trying to pin it down. It's like a fruity champagne, very dry, missing most of its bubbles. Then again, maybe it's ... whatever it is, it's darned good! When you're done, get ready for a Hot Buttered Rum. If they do it right, they'll preheat the mug by filling it with boiling water, then let it sit. After a while they'll empty it and start the show. A packed teaspoon of brown sugar goes in the glass, followed by the boiling water. A brisk stir incorporates the sugar, then the rum flows in, dissolving on its own. A pat of butter floats the top, melting under a sprinkle of freshly ground nutmeg. You'll drink until the last sleepy drop, then realize the day is done; it's time to go home. To stay on top, you've got to get your rest, and that's another shiny key to success.
Bartender Dan
January 10, 2014 (Top of Page)
Second-to-last means there's one more to come, so enjoy it; there's only one to go, then you're done. The Penultimate Word is a fine lead-in cocktail for any occasion, not just the close. It has a great refined orange taste that's slightly bitter; that's the Aperol. The orange twist accentuates the initial sampling by creating a wonderful airy scent, when expertly expressed. Cherry and lemon flavors pop up now and then, but the stronger gin botanicals float by barely noticed. Every sip is light and lively and you could find yourself drinking this like soda. Bottoms up! After starting light, you can finish it strong with the Tovarisch Cocktail. It's a tart and dirty lime "friend" that will end your night; you won't need another one. The flavor is herbal citrus with plenty of subtle muscle coming from the hidden, super-smooth vodka. The feel is light, but something sneaky is going on in there. Grab some crackers topped with cheese for a bulwark, then go to town. Talk up the day and drink it down. What? It's time to go? Well, it's not really over, there'll be more to drink next week!
Bartender Dan
January 3, 2014 (Top of Page)
You're collapsed in the chalet recovering from a hard day of skiing; it's good to know they have a world-class bar. You lounge back and look down to exercise your toes ... they're still alive inside those thick wool socks. Meanwhile, the fire in the hearth is raging. Somebody hands you an Ankle Breaker and you take a hearty sip. The 151-proof rum is constantly evaporating; it's a warning. The cherry flavor fools you, like a friendly friend, so you just drink it down and don't worry about how it could end. You skied that one run, was it Rib Cracker or Shin Snapper? Anyway, there were lots of boulders. It was a blue box on the map, but it should've been a black diamond. At least you made it back with all your bones intact. You shake your head and feel loopy. Somebody takes your empty glass, leaving behind a Frostbite. You sip and smile as it soothes, simple and smooth, creamy with a tasteful mint kicker. The blue agave melts into the cocoa and cream and gets pleasantly lost. The cocoa dusted on top makes you feel like a child; that's the definition of comfort. So here you are, relaxing near the fire on a cold and snowy night. On second thought, maybe you'd better count your toes. It sure was cold out on that mountain.
Bartender Dan