December 30, 2011 (Top of Page)
The boozers stopped by to bank some quality drinking time on the eve of the traditional calendar-year-closeout brouhaha. They started with the Golden Dragon and absolutely loved it! The taste was magical as the fine elixir hovered around the tongue; it never really sat down. The balance was perfect, not too light, not too heavy, and the lemon oil gave everything an ethereal halo. What a treat! Simple and unique. The Seville followed and didn't let anyone down. It was very refreshing and expertly crafted. The taste was lightly pineapple due to the orange and lemon mix and the sweetness level was barely noticeable. Meanwhile, the fino sherry played some kind of lyrical tune with the gin, melding them excellently into one. So this is how they drink in Spain? Set'em up, José! And Happy New Year! Just not today.
Bartender Dan
December 16, 2011 (Top of Page)
In the subdued light of a sidewalk lined with frosty cars, warm fellowship is calling from a favorite local bar. Like a sure bet, your place is all set, and Dean Martin is singing "Volare" too. The bar stool sure is toasty as the Double Standard Sour pours to greet you. Leaning towards grapefruit in flavor with a texture enjoyably thin, it's a surprisingly happy blend of whisky and gin. To drink it down is a snap. The orange slice is mildly sour and the cherry at the bottom is sweet. Nice accompaniment! But you can't end the day until you down the Anchors Aweigh. Fruit splashes complexify the bourbon and half-and-half, keeping you guessing as to what's going on. You might get a hint there's chocolate in there, but it's not. It's a foamy-topped holiday nightcap ladling comfort and kick, strong enough to put you to sleep. Now that's an excellent way to end the week!
Bartender Dan
P.S. Though closed next week, we'll be back open in two. Merry Christmas!!!
December 9, 2011 (Top of Page)
There's nothing worse than random injustice crashing down on you like a 16-ton weight, but unfortunately, that's the unavoidable fate. You did everything right, you had your plans, then you got blindsided ... oh man. That's life, but let go of the hate, because you've got better things on your plate. Go hit the bar with friends and sort everything out over a couple of cocktails. Order the Sledgehammer first, it's aptly named. It pounds home the reality, you'll relive some of the burning pain, but that's just part of the recovery game. It's a heavy-handed power cocktail, no joke, so take it in small doses. Move on to the Hot Toddy next, because that's where you really want to be in the end. It's superb! Though scotch is the classic liquor of choice, you can pick from any whisky, brandy, or rum. The toasty warm scotch and honey is the body and soul, while the lemon brings a tang touched with cloves. The nutmeg on top plays a seasonal note while the cinnamon is swimmin' in there, dust and stick. You'll think you're on a ski lift! Hey, where did all your big problems go? They're in the past, pal, because you're movin' on down the road.
Bartender Dan
December 2, 2011 (Top of Page)
The turkey's gone and everybody's moving on to even more holiday cheer; the bar is open! The boozers rushed in and were sporting glowing grins after tasting the Kup's Indispensable Cocktail. The orange twist lilts a citrusy breeze that floats above a smooth wave of warm merriment. This cocktail really is a must. And some creamy and crumbly cheese and crackers on the side doesn't hurt the mood either. A more classic version of the drink adds a dash of Angostura bitters for complexity, so that needs to be tried too. Any takers? The Lady Be Good arrived shortly and really classed up the joint, looking golden and tasting like minty Christmas candy dipped in brandy. Another winner, so warm and so smooth, just like Sarah Vaughan. She was singing "The Man I Love" and her extraordinary presence filled the room. The drinkers drank, they listened to the tune, and little lights twinkled in the darkness ... Man, this sure is the place to hang out!
Bartender Dan
November 18, 2011 (Top of Page) 
With a brisk walk through the frosty air, the boozers got to where they wanted to go: Ralph's Bar's front door. The first step inside found warmth all around, this was a place where good times abound. Once seated and settled in, the Scotch Holiday Sour was the first drink to arrive. With smiling eyes they relished its light and fruity taste, each sample finishing cold, fresh, and clean. The cocktail was like a harvest of fruit flavor, making for an excellent holiday bracer. There was nothing but good cheer right down to the bottom of the glass. The Favorite came next to warm the soul in the form of a light syrup of apricot persuasion. Its heat was just enough to coat the throat as protection from the cold without being overbearing; a nice balance and worthy of its name. The merriment rolled on until the drinks were done, then the boozers reluctantly headed for the door. They looked back, all bundled up, wishing there was more. Of course, there's always next time.
Bartender Dan
P.S. We'll be closed next week for Thanksgiving. See you in two weeks!
November 11, 2011 (Top of Page)
After a week of mental and physical exertion you might start to think, "What I need is a good stiff drink." The locals seemed to be in that frame of mind, hitting the bar stools, glad to be off the clock. The Narragansett liquidly greeted them right away. Each one was personally mixed in-glass by the bartender: ice to the tumbler, liquor over the ice, easy stir, then an oily spritz of the lemon twist before dropping it in the pool. The first sips were cold and bourbon-rich; it certainly qualified as "stiff." The taste turned a little sour as the flavor unfolded, but that just made it more interesting. The boozers started wondering if this cocktail would be good with seafood. Soon they were reminiscing about a seafood platter they shared in Victoria, British Columbia: those big fluffy breaded oysters ... Man, they were practically drooling! The Queen Elizabeth closed the show and it was one royally stiff cocktail. The 6-to-1 dry martini core cut a hard leading edge, but the Bénédictine added just enough rounded sweetness and old world flavor to keep it from being offensive. If you want a cocktail that'll stiffen your spine in addition to your upper lip, this one is it. Pip, pip!
Bartender Dan
November 4, 2011 (Top of Page)
Cocktails are the negotiators between parties at the party. Without quality drinking for the guests to do, interesting conversations tend to be few. But if everyone is hoisting an exceptional drink, mingling and merriment rules the occasion. For anyone new to the party, the Diplomat provides an excellent introduction. It's an easygoing icebreaker reminiscent of a firm and fruity sangria, especially after you float the lemon slice. With vermouth being low-proof, conversations are bound to get off on the right foot. And the cherry steeped at the bottom is pure enjoyment; this is a lovely cocktail for making friends. For the experienced drinker, party diplomacy tends to be more intense, and that's where the K.G.B. Cocktail reveals itself. It's a strong, icy drink that'll make you snap to, but it's beautifully balanced; there's no harshness. Your senses will perk up, you'll be more aware, and that lemon scent is always there. This cocktail is particularly well done. It's like a cold stinger or a sharp blade, but one you can wield flawlessly as you make your play.
Welcome to the cocktail party, my friend!
Bartender Dan
October 28, 2011 (Top of Page)
It was dark out there, just a sliver of the moon, but the bar's neon sign welcomed strangers from the gloom. Inside were boozers, obviously drinkin' buddies to the end; this place was a natural haunt for friends. As they bellied up, they were welcomed by the crowd, but when the bartender served the Midnight Cocktail, that's when things got loud. It had a fresh apricot cider taste that conveyed something really festive, perfect for a chilly night's carouse. Eventually the Count Stroganoff dropped by to keep the mood alive, not that any of the festivity had died; the party was still going strong. Its fresh lemon sparked the tongue while the cocoa element sat surprisingly subdued. The vodka quietly put on its cloak, disappearing as it should, leaving a thin syrupy texture; it was an unconsciously easy drinker. Fellowship was reaped and the harvest was good; the strangers were glad they stopped by. A beacon to travelers was this bar in the night, but something directed them through the chilly dark. Maybe it was the spirit of boozing, a friendly ghost. One thing is certain: next time around they won't be strangers.
Bartender Dan
October 21, 2011 (Top of Page) 
These local boozers sure are a dedicated bunch. They belly up on time and don't mind manning the front lines. Whatever comes their way, they relish it. That's the pro attitude, and boy, did they need it tonight. When the Dempsey came stalking across the bar, landing the first blow, everyone recoiled, howling in unison. This cocktail hits hard! And if you linger the swig, your mouth becomes a crucible. Oh, the agony! But real boozers take the hit, then laugh and bounce back; the locals did just that. An observant bartender couldn't be more proud. Luckily, we had plenty of ice behind the bar to put down the swelling. Whoa! After going the distance with the champ, the Gazette sat down and told a different story. This cocktail was smooth and sweet, but didn't finish so neat. There was something slightly sinister about the aftertaste. Maybe it was the French brandy bickering with the Italian vermouth. Who knows? It had a richness that was comforting, though. This one's good for the unwind after you've had a rough time, so feel free to tell your story ... and don't forget to roll with the punches, my friend.
Bartender Dan
October 14, 2011 (Top of Page)
Of the roads you've traveled, some need traveling again, this time in your mind: now you can appreciate them. And though recollection might bring lessons anew, at least this time you can enjoy the view. So tell some sage stories, drink in hand, with friends in tow; spread a little knowledge, you're always good to go. Start the journey with a Scotch Cobbler, it's a sensational drink. The honey melds with the scotch, rounding out any smoky smell and taste. The orange liqueur drapes over the two forming a unique overall flavor. Add the mint hint and this cocktail on the rocks becomes a beautiful thing. Exceptionally good! A striking counterpoint is the Little Dix Mix. This one is bold in every way; it shouts out its flavors. The deeply rich rum and banana turn sour with a lime that's barely tempered by a soft orange shoulder tap. This drink tells its own story; you can smell it from across the bar too. Heck, it might even turn out to be one of those points to revisit someday on Recollection Road. Drive carefully, my friend.
Bartender Dan
October 7, 2011 (Top of Page)
A bar can get overwhelmed when boozers rush in: the boozers are back! Back from vacation; some from Canada, one from Oregon. After the usual bar stools were occupied, the clientele got wide-eyed in anticipation of the luscious Vanity Fair. It was a sight for sore eyes, especially after all those hotel beers out on the road. The aroma was wonderful and the Amaretto got floated by design, but seemed to sink. Either way, it sure was fun to drink. Apple and cherry is a great combination and the unmixed Amaretto drops a sweet, concentrated kick. Welcome home! The Tequila Gimlet did some welcoming of its own, packing superb sweet and smooth lime refreshment. The preparation was simple: stir the ingredients gently in a mixing glass and pour over the rocks. This one's deceptively strong and lasts long, so sip and talk. If words start flying by and you find yourself staring at various focal points in the bar, try focusing back. "What'd you say?" Oh boy, you're drinking like a fish now. Try another one of those hard mini-toast hors d'oeuvres. They're spread with pork and chicken liver mousse with truffles, topped with aspic. It sure is good to be back in the swing. And this fellowship is king.
Bartender Dan
September 16, 2011 (Top of Page)
When the home team plays great, it's time to celebrate, so the boozers came in right after the win. They bellied up all smiles and backslaps; it was clear a quick start was in order. Time for a shot! Not just any shot, the American Belle. It's got the layered look: cherry down low, almond floating the middle, bourbon for the capper. Though the similarly-colored liquors make it hard to see, it layers quite nicely, and the taste is fantastic. The whisky heat source really brings out the flavors of the excellent liqueurs; it tastes like sweet victory. Even if you're on the losing end, try one. You'll be winning in no time, guaranteed. And later on, when it's time to settle down, let the Godfather make the rounds. This cocktail looks great, smells great, and tastes great. It is so cool and so fine ... sometimes the simplest things are the most pleasing to find. This one's a winner, that's for sure. It's good to win.
Bartender Dan
P.S. The bar will be closed the next two weeks for vacation, so no Ralph's fellowship or libations. Can the boozers survive?
September 9, 2011 (Top of Page)
The boozers accosted the bar stools tonight, getting up and spinning around fast; they were looking to go hands-on some slender glass. The Commonwealth Cocktail was in the making, so when the wafting mist of the orange twists hit their eager nostrils, they knew good service was imminent. The first taste revealed a medium density liquid delivering a sumptuously warm orange essence; a treat for the eyes, nose, and tongue. But in the end, what was it? An elegant orange kick in the pants! Watch your intake. And if you're looking for a good way to end the night, try a glass of milk that sports a spike. The Bourbon Milk Punch had a smooth holiday feel to it with its fresh nutmeg hinting of seasonal change. The honey and milk spoke of harvest, the vanilla did too, while the bourbon expertly hardened the brew. It was easy home-style drinking, but "punch" was the operative word, so look out. If you still need to see where you're going, don't let this cocktail pull the nightcap down over your eyes. Drink it slowly. But hey, if you're already in bed, then no problem; close your eyes, sleepyhead.
And we'll see you next week!
Bartender Dan
September 2, 2011 (Top of Page)
Beer signs are lit, through the darkness come the colors. The bottles against the mirror? They could turn and see their doubles. The bar is set, sparkling clean, awaiting all the customers. Here they come: down the steps, across the hall, and through the swinging doors. They're big boozers, they want their expectations met, maybe even more. No problem. Bill Evans and Tony Bennett are collaborating, blue notes and vocals. The Boston Cocktail pours, its welcoming aroma drifts far across the bar. The liquid is cold and slippery, there's plenty of scent in the nose. It's enjoyable to the last sip. This one's a hit! Then there's a piano break and Tony looks on ... Man, the playing is beautiful on this song. Now the International Cocktail makes the scene. The boozers are ready, it tastes like a dream. It's golden power in a glass. The Pernod comes through just enough to try and own it, but the cognac is the real player. First-rate. Bill E. trips the keys as Tony croons on, and the drinkers drink, just like they absorb the songs. It doesn't get much better than this!
Bartender Dan
August 26, 2011 (Top of Page)
Don't roll the dice if you don't know the odds. Chance doesn't like winners, but skill does. Master the game. Build a name your friends can admire and one to which the competition aspires. Then you'll be firing on all cylinders, that's what you'll do, and everyone will want to have a drink with you. So go buy them a round: start with the Delta. Tip it back, sip and smile. Talk about its fruity depth of flavor, the solid mix, and how it could easily go over the rocks for a twist. Then point out how the bartender used a nectarine instead of a peach, but that's okay, whatever's in reach. Man, you've got this cocktail down cold! Impressive. Go ahead and treat everyone to a Xanthia for the follow-up, but warn them it falls into the "powerful elixir" category. Take a taste: it's good medicine, but it wants to knock you out to cure what ails you. Discuss how the herbal-sweet cherry provides a beautiful refrain amid the overall heat, you know, the part that wants to put you to sleep. You'll be drinking this cocktail carefully for the long haul, because that's what you do when you know the game inside and out. Skillfully, no doubt.
Bartender Dan
August 19, 2011 (Top of Page)
You belly up because there's drinkin' to do. You've got your reasons, your friends do too. The place is hopping: Frank and Count Basie are swingin' through "Luck Be A Lady." Now you know why you dropped in. You order the Brown Cocktail and it comes at you quickly and cold. It's diamond sophistication, like Frank's cuff links. Pure liquor, righteous and hot, only for the bold. You keep on drinking and hope the music never stops. Don't worry, it won't. Now you've got an all-booze cocktail bent. You like the way it gets stirred, how it pays the rent. So the bartender suggests and you oblige: the Kentucky Colonel Cocktail makes the slide. It's another all-liquor powerhouse and it tastes great. Lots of whisky lays in the glass, but it's the companion that gives it the gas. There's an almost root beer melody playing out, or is it caramel? Soon you find yourself thinking lemon is an essential oil. Oh yes, you'll be trying this cocktail again. You tip your glass and listen to Frank some more, then you see one of your friends coming through the door. It's Friday night.
Bartender Dan
August 12, 2011 (Top of Page) 
If there's nothing to say, just drink away. And yes, you've got plenty to do, but what's new? We're here at the bar to escape the grind, if just for a while, and sip a few cocktails in style. The rest can wait. But if your drink is the Blue Margarita, there's going to be something to say, and that's "Woo-hoo!" The tequila-orange-lime combo can't be beat for sparking a festive mood; margaritas are always good. And if you've got chips and salsa to go with that salty rim? Man, that's the life! Cheers! Now if you need to settle things down a bit, try the Melon Cocktail. It's aptly named, giving off a melon vibe with its combination of citrus and cherry. There's some bitter anger from the gin on the ends, but that's your friend. Nice drink. If it reminds you that it's an up and down world out there, then you'll have something to take home. But don't go home too soon, this stint at the bar is one beautiful respite.
Bartender Dan
August 5, 2011 (Top of Page) 
When events get stone-cold serious, is it any wonder the drinking gets the same? A no-nonsense cocktail can verify the effort and, if necessary, soothe the pain. The first taste says it all: you're still in the game, aware, and ready for more. That's what serious drinks are for, like the Third Degree Cocktail. It's a 3-to-1 dry martini with a licorice spike, very cold and burning clean, smooth as glass. Drink it deliberately and collect your thoughts, because next week could be a barn-burner. Finish up with the Liberty Cocktail, a serious contemplator that'll help you formulate the game plan. It's a 100-proof hard apple lashing modulated by a light rum smooth-over and a sugar softener. The vapor off the top is great and the taste is solid and clean, perfect for when you're feeling mean. Life may have you drinking due to its rat race mentality, but you'll spring free and have it figured out in the end. By the way, it sure is nice to be drinking with friends.
Bartender Dan
July 29, 2011 (Top of Page)
It was a flavor whipsaw for the boozers tonight. The cocktails just never got right. Then again, when you're constantly looking for something new, you're bound to take a flop or two. But all on the same night? The Apple Blossom stumbled in stage right and brought almost nothing to the show. The fragrance was nice, but the taste was thin. It was just plain light on flavor, nothing special, and squeezing the slice before dropping it in didn't help either. This one needed to exit stage left, because nobody was impressed. Next! The Pilot Boat powered in with huge flavor, making up for what the first drink lacked in buckets. The taste was dense featuring prominent banana and rich dark rum tumbling in and out of a monstrously tart shockwave. For some at the bar, the tartness went too far. It was "tart" with a capital "T" and then some. Whoa! This cocktail may have to be categorized as too sour in the end, but at least it brought the excitement.
What can you say? Sometimes you go down gambling.
Bartender Dan
July 22, 2011 (Top of Page)
What's shown on the outside may hide what's within and to find out the truth you'll have to dig in. If there are layers, peel them away. If there are words, what do they say? Eventually you'll see either solid gold or a rotten core as the story unfolds, then you can figure out what to do. And if you need to mull it over, stop by the bar with some friends, have a drink or two. The Monoloco Zombie can start you off. It has nothing to hide; what you see is what you get. It's a tropically mild long haul refresher protected by a top float of high-test rum, put there to keep out the pretenders. Take a hearty pull. It's the real deal, tall and cool. Things are looking up. If the situation is more serious, you've got the Stormy Weather on your side. It's a great heater with impeccable orange credentials that'll help you figure things out, but not without a little sweat. What did you expect? Life is hard, but if you know how to navigate, you'll sail right on through, true and on course. And here at the bar? We've got your back.
Bartender Dan
July 15, 2011 (Top of Page)
Who keeps rolling when the chips are down and never gives in until the horn's final sound? The winner, that's who. And winners know they can win even if they lose, because there's always next time ... and contemplative booze. They hit the bar and order a stiff drink, like the Cassis, then settle in; now it's time to think. The bourbon and vermouth deliver a punishing dry heat, enough to sober anyone to what went wrong. Meanwhile, the black currant liquor brings a subtle sweet, just enough to reveal the silver lining on a defeat. And the blueberries? They pop! Maybe that represents the spark, the idea you work on that'll bring triumph next time around. Oh, yes! Now for the winner on the mend, the Roamin' The Gloamin' is a friendly companion. The first scent is pure orange from the freshly floating slice, but the taste is like a Creamsicle orange, not nearly as sharp and almost cloud-like. It's an easy drink to mull over possible solutions and commiserate with friends, because that's what you're here for in the end. Hey, you'll get the win next time!
Bartender Dan
July 8, 2011 (Top of Page)
Getting back in the groove is always good and the boozers wanted back in as soon as they could. After one week off, with thirsts to quench, they barged through the doors with sole intent, "Bartender! Give me a drink!" Filling that request was no problem. The Dinah shook hard and poured to eager eyes; the sprig, fresh from the garden, was a pleasant surprise. The cocktail had a deep texture and flavor with just enough sweet lemon to sour the whisky, and the mint really wafted. It was thumbs up all around; a great icebreaker. As the boozers got to talking and settled in, the Bermuda Rose was conjured up to cut the din. It was an ice cold attention grabber with a flowery fragrance. The taste was delicate, very refreshing, and easy enough to like to the point of wondering when the refill was coming. It was like an island vacation in a glass. With such subtle and surprising tastes, it's no wonder these boozers highly cherish their drinking opportunities. The cocktail bar life sure is grand!
Bartender Dan
June 24, 2011 (Top of Page)
Roads are traveled because life doesn't stand still, and the one you're on is a test of will. The journey goes until you reach the end, but don't forget to take a few exits along the way, visit some friends. Fellowship and fine cocktails make for a good respite, so take some time to belly up with your drinkin' buddies on both elbows. Order a Warsaw Cocktail for something easygoing that's not too wild. Its tasteful blackberry possession is something you'll want to acquire. It has an evenhanded mix that's nice and cool. This drink can smooth out any bumpy road, so take your time and work the repartee. And when you need a refill, try switching to the Green Devil. It's springy and light, a jumping mint and lime refresher on ice. It just plain works; this is one good-time cocktail. Finish it up, then get back out on the road. You'll get to where you're going, and it's probably a nicer destination than you could ever be knowing.
See you there.
Bartender Dan
P.S. Next week the bar will be closed for a holiday break, but we'll be back!
June 17, 2011 (Top of Page)
The boozers hit the stools hard tonight and the scene was crackling. But with the Rat Pack live on stage and the crowd noise high, maybe it was too happening. Nah, not at this establishment. A drink did arrive, though, trying to settle things down: the Sleepy Head; it made the rounds. Mint leaves and brandy got muddled lightly in-glass, then ice and ginger ale were added and deftly stirred, followed by a twist and straw garnish. This cocktail is an acquired taste. The brandy bit hard and never seemed to combine with the ginger ale or mint, which left a long aftertaste. Every flavor and scent seemed too distinct as opposed to them all blending together as one to avoid confusion. But hey, the boozers liked it! They powered right through it and nobody lost a beat; so much for sleep. A roar went up when Frank hit the stage, so the Darb was coastered allowing everyone to play the sophisticate. This cocktail strikes boldly with a dense apricot and lemon taste, but also sports a slightly nasty singe that serves as a potency warning. It hits hard and finishes clean, like that big band on stage backing up The Chairman of the Board. Encore! Let's hear some more!
Bartender Dan
June 10, 2011 (Top of Page)
When hot weather starts to show up, refreshment is key. What will do the trick? Something cool and clean, hopefully with some oomph, but nothing too mean. Now that sounds like the Sharky Punch. When it drops into place, you'll have a smile on your face. It tastes and looks like a refreshing light beer. The grain from the rye brings earthiness while the sugar and brandy deliver a sweet fruit flavor, so it's not too dry. An ice-cold lager with a distinct fruity flavor; now that's quite an accomplishment. The main core gets vigorously shaken over ice and poured into the glass, then topped up with sparkling water to set the power rating. A gentle stir brings it all together. Let's hope your bartender gets the dilution just right, but don't drink more than one of these because it packs a wallop regardless. You don't want your head swimming, so watch out! If you need a cocktail life jacket after too much 80-proof beer, the Emerson can save the day. Its fruity deliciousness sparks with a lively pop of herbal cherry-lime. It's an excellent spirit lifter; this cocktail must be what "happy" tastes like. After a few sips everyone is smiling and bright-eyed and that's a good thing. Hey, you've got to keep your head in this heat.
Bartender Dan
June 3, 2011 (Top of Page) 
The pressure cooker of life gets stoked by hustle and bustle, that's the daily grind. To blow off steam, go out and rustle up some good times. Cocktails and entertainment can get you started, so stop at the bar, hop on a stool, and dip into your wallet. Get a drink worth the money, like the Golden Rooster. It's all liquor, so it won't waste your pennies. The fruit flavors are tempered by a mild gin heat treatment, yielding a light syrup of virtuous value. Now drink up and pretend you're in Vegas ... maybe sitting at a slot machine listening to Elvis. Ah, the good life! When your tumbler goes dry, get another cocktail, because you deserve it. The Tequila Stinger is worth a try. The classic mint touch gets applied to the base tequila and by golly, it's great stuff! Nice and strong, it's another slippery syrup of premium value. After the strong drinks, you may find your toes have gone numb. It's going to be hard to dance. Maybe you should just stay at the bar.
Bartender Dan
May 27, 2011 (Top of Page)
Not everyone can possess the finer skills, like how to speak foreign languages with fluency and trill. No, you can't always go for that polished stuff, not when you're swinging a hammer or driving a truck. But you can clean up your dirty fingernails at the end of the day, then go for a taste of the high life at the bar; order a cocktail. Start off with the Champs Elysées, named after that big-time prestigious promenade in Paris, France. It's pronounced "shahn-zay-lee-ZAY" and its tiny bubbles dance and pop with a fresh peachy flavor. Raise your glass and say, "Shahn-zay-lee-ZAY!" Everybody, again! It makes you feel refined. Continue celebrating with the Froupe, a cocktail whose pedigree requires Italian vermouth to be correctly made. The penetrating taste drops hints of buttery caramel with a surprisingly clean finish, like water. Excellent. The name could be pronounced "froop" or "froo-pay" for all we know. Here at Ralph's Bar we just go with the flow and say, "Hey amigo, give me a drink!"
Bartender Dan
May 20, 2011 (Top of Page)
The boozers rolled in looking for action and the drinks that make fellowship gain good traction. The bartender was obliged to shake up something new, so they casually bellied up to enjoy the view. Ice and liquor and juice violently shaken in frosty steel, that was the show, then it was into chilled glasses on a quick pour. Jersey Lightning was the name of the drink and it was as sour as sour can be, it made everyone blink. It tasted like a serving of sour apple sauce, but only after being hit by a bolt of tartness. Subsequent samples just tightened the pucker vise, bringing heightened citrus grimace and pain. Who likes this much impact? Boozers from Jersey? Whoa! The Spanish Moss came to the rescue with pleasing hints of mint and coffee melded into an earthy tequila base. Very tasty ... and full of good vibes. It was a calm and comfortable sipper over cleansing ice, just what the doctor ordered. But you can't let moss grow, as any experienced boozer knows, not if you want to roll, baby, roll. So they drank their cocktails down and called it a night. Out the door until next time, they kept moving, staying sharp, looking for the action.
Bartender Dan
May 13, 2011 (Top of Page)
The ocean is deep, full of volume and chance, but skill navigates it to guarantee a return to land. Boozers can sail a cocktail ocean equally vast; let's hope their bartender knows when to tie them to the mast. For example, the smooth agave blend of the Blue Shark can make the boozer hearken, but it swims in cold and dangerous waters. The pretty blue hue and easy consumption masks a silent strength that will scramble the brain. Count on it. If they cut you loose from the bar, here's hoping you've got some floating dock bumpers tied around your waist. Enjoy this cocktail in high spirits with your chums. Just remember, it's a relentless operator with stolid doll's-eyes, so be careful. Land, ho! If your drink rudder still works, steer yourself towards the Pago Pago for a pleasant jolt. It tastes like some kind of tropical fruit, but with a bristle to it. The splashed flavor enhancers incorporate so you can't recognize them, but they sure make for a beautiful blend. This is another drink that will conk you out if you're not careful ... it's nice and tasty, but don't drink hastily. After the night is over, you'll just be glad you've reached safe harbor. What a journey!
Bartender Dan
May 6, 2011 (Top of Page)
When you hit the bar, there's no need to compete, just mosey on in and take a seat. Welcome to leisure time. A good way to start is with a smile, so order an entertaining cocktail and stay a while. You can't go wrong opening with the Ulanda Cocktail. It jumps out of the gate with a warm presence that flows like a slippery licorice syrup, but it's not heavy, it's rather slight and tastefully done. Cool heat that's also sweet; a natural. Who wouldn't want another one? If it's a party you're looking for, you can't go wrong with the Piñata. It has a good banana kick, but no ingredient sticks out like a sore thumb. This is a balanced one, a lighthearted snappy cocktail fit for a celebration. It tastes so good you could probably drink it in raucous buckets, so don't lose yourself inside this festival in a glass. We're trying to take it leisurely, remember?
See you next week!
Bartender Dan
April 29, 2011 (Top of Page)
What's the minimum requirement for a special occasion? A bartender and one customer: the skeleton crew. That's all it takes. Some require a cast of thousands to make their occasions shine, but grandiloquence in a glass is the solitary boozer's line. Take the Prince's Smile, for instance, tasting like a strong apricot pit of burning liquid bluster. Imagine yourself in the spotlight, feeling the heat of a thousand stares ... and you're prepared. Sip away, my friend, sip away. And when you've polished off the apricot boost, get ready for the Royal Roost, a cocktail even a knave can enjoy. You'll be perched at the bar a long time because this one deals from a position of strength. The taste is dominated by the bourbon, but there's a spicy kick to everything too. The natural sugars of the fruit soften the alcoholic blast somewhat, but not that much. It's on the rocks, but by the time you're done you'll find it fought the ice and won! Now that's top-to-bottom power. The orange slice and pineapple soak up the booze like a chamois, providing a very special treat in the end.
So this Friday it was just a skeleton crew, listening Gene Harris' All Star Big Band and throwing back a few. Hey, wasn't the Royal Roost a '40s jazz club back in the day? In Midtown Manhattan, right?
Bartender Dan
April 22, 2011 (Top of Page) 
Hope springs eternal when you're ensconced at the bar. The lifting spirits of cocktail fellowship will lighten any week of strife, no matter who you are. So chase away your troubles by having a good supper, then belly up in tandem with friends and order a pick-me-upper: the After Dinner Cocktail. You'll get happy in a hurry courtesy of its excellent fruity flavor. The equal parts are heavenly balanced, yielding a seamless medium-density nectar. Fruit wonderful! How to follow it up? Order the Chrysanthemum Cocktail, that's easy enough. The first taste is an eyebrow lifter of the best kind. You'll try to give the flavor a voice, but all you'll be able to muster is, "Fantastic!" Construction calls for the Pernod to be dashed after the drink is poured, followed by a light stir, then the orange peel gets the spritz-and-drop. Clearly exceptional, this drink will have you feeling light as a bird in flight over our sometimes nasty world.
Here's to keeping your spirits high ... and good friends!
Bartender Dan
April 15, 2011 (Top of Page)
Good spirits came in with the boozers tonight, but then again, that's why the local bar is so liked. Dino was onstage, live from Tahoe, cracking jokes and singing in smoky tuxedo style. The Fee Brothers were showcasing their orange bitters tonight, so the boozers bellied up nice and tight. Apple-smoked Gruyère rested on crackers in thin slices, waiting. Orange bitters cocktail No. 1: the Abbey. Its tonal orange was deftly muted by the Lillet to form a unique fruity flavor. The bitters tipped the balance back to the orange camp, but just barely as the gin spiciness complicated the happy mix. There's quite an interesting flavor to this drink; something to contemplate with cheese and crackers. Orange bitters cocktail No. 2: the Bairn, which means "child" in Scottish. It had a hearty citrus flavor and left no doubt where the bitters were laying. The smoke in the scotch disappeared nicely, turning the overall cocktail into a real high note for orange lovers. Cold and slightly syrupy, it's a winner. Speaking of high notes, was that Frankie Valli closing out the show? Darned right ... high note indeed!
Bartender Dan
April 8, 2011 (Top of Page)
Too much freewheeling can make for a bad deal, especially if you're boozing during the negotiations. Memories tend to mist into clouds of so-called decisions that invariably don't match how everyone feels. And who wants to clean up later when the heads are clear? Nobody. Let's get something straight: drinking isn't for formulating a compact, it's for celebrating the pact! In other words, you drink after the deal. That's when you procure an ice cold Delmonico Cocktail and appreciate its superbly blended sophistication. The brandy and vermouths mellow the gin and bitters so smoothly that the drink becomes one gorgeous flavor. Add the lemon twist pick-me-up and you're golden. This cocktail goes great with success stories, and sizzling rib eye steaks. Done deal. Try the East Wing if you want to experience another beautiful mix. The cherry is the featured player, but the bitterness of the Campari is just there, adding a spicy seriousness that can't be denied. And the citrus twist? It's the happy zing that celebrates a good thing. If you're drinking this cocktail post-deal, you must be on a winning streak.
So, for the good of all, we strike sober deals. Agreed? Let's drink on it!
Bartender Dan
April 1, 2011 (Top of Page)
Overwhelming evidence cannot be denied and leads to the opening of jaundiced eyes. Though it may not be pleasant, at first, to see in the clear, comfort comes when the truth is near. So don't beat yourself up for your mistake, but if it makes you feel better, take a trip to the bar and clean the slate. The Lawhill Cocktail will do the deed. Its whisky gangs up with a few friends to deliver a blunt force of righteous penance, so take your medicine. There's nothing sweet about this cocktail, it's a solid punch in the face. Now that's the truth. When you're finally ready to move along after paying for your wrong, a Cherry Daiquiri will help the celebration. It has a beautiful flavor that would make anyone feel optimistic; it's a rum cherry burnished with a lime patina. You couldn't ask for a nicer rebound from the opening cocktail. And now nobody feels beat up. Hey, isn't life grand? You bet!
Bartender Dan
March 25, 2011 (Top of Page)
Life stacks up, with pressure all around, the problems and projects meant to wear you down. And though it may seem overwhelming, just forge ahead and pick them off, one by one. Eventually your slate will be clean, at least that's the dream, and you'll kick back and say, "What? No problems for me to solve today?" If you can reach that point there'll be a pure smile on your face, but perhaps one more problem: how to celebrate. Here's an idea: hit the bar for Happy Hour! Order the Jack Rose to get started. It wafts with apple freshness and tastes festive and tart, the kind of tart that dances and prances, it doesn't punish. This is a wake-up cocktail; its big taste is thoroughly enjoyable, and remarkable, coming from such a simple setup. You've got to try it! The Verona Cocktail is another celebratory treat. It's like an almond-centered liquor candy with a thin gin coating. The almondy core bursts first, then the iced gin burns a halo around the pleasure. The orange slice brings an added freshness, making the experience even better. You can sit and happily sip away on this drink all night, so go ahead, you've earned it.
Bartender Dan
March 18, 2011 (Top of Page)
Darkness fell, the bar was primed, and Bill Evans was jammin' on piano live, in trio, jazz time. The spots behind the bar were turned down low, bathing the glinting bottles in a tasty glow. The boozers filtered in exchanging pleasantries while taking up seats, setting the bartender into motion. The Hudson Bay was soon shocking their taste buds in a spectacular way. A strong cherry note in the nose and on the tongue gave way to a torching fireball of rum, followed by a gin and citrus tang. All the flavors in the cocktail were well-defined, but orchestrated for superb taste action. Quite entertaining. Bill E. flipped the changes and plumbed some early stuff as the Linstead Cocktail came to fruition. Unlike the music, the drink was dragging some nasty notes. Smoky scotch paired with French licorice is a dubious mix and the pineapple flavor just made the scene doubly strange. One of the regulars was darned near offended by the aftertaste, but soldiered on. This cocktail won't land another gig at Ralph's anytime soon. Of course, the Biggest Boozer didn't seem to mind, because experience says you can't win'em every time. The jazz sure is good.
Bartender Dan
March 11, 2011 (Top of Page)
If you could turn back time, if only for an hour, you could correct a lot of mistakes, maybe even prepare to fight a little harder. Unfortunately, you can't do that as the world unfolds for you to react, come what may. What you can do is find time. You can peg it in the future, then carve it out when it's present: a refuge from the turmoil. Time spent at the local bar is like that, with friends and good fellowship; and when you're there, you actually can turn back time! You can order the Mary Pickford and go back about 100 years to a golden age of simplicity and promise. Smell the foam on top of the drink: it's like whipped cream on a fruit pie that's mellow and sweet. This cocktail is exceptionally easy to drink, one you can silently enjoy. But when you realize it's almost St. Patrick's Day, that's when the Shamrock comes into play. Wake up! It's time to celebrate! Green is the color and the sting is mild, but it's all liquor, so it can really drive a parade. This cocktail is also very easy to drink, maybe too easy. Good thing you reserved a block of party time, enough to let the night play out and give you something to talk about.
You can rejoin the fray tomorrow.
Bartender Dan
March 4, 2011 (Top of Page)
Boozers are fixtures, they aren't just passing through. Why would they? Not when backslaps and belly laughs gladly visit those who throw back a few. So with elbows on the bar, what will the bartender send? The Classic Cocktail ... and now you're just getting started, my friend. It's ice cold and has a wonderful depth. The flavor bursts with lemon and cherry; the sugar rim heightens the sensation. In a world that's often bitter, this one delivers a nice respite. More! Now as the good times roll, there's always something waiting in the wings, ready to pour. The Forester gets the shake and falls into an Old Fashioned, no rocks, just a single maraschino bottom dweller. The cherry liqueur spikes the bourbon nicely, posting a rich and earthy taste. This cocktail makes for a sturdy reward, especially after a hard day's work. So light one up and tell a few stories, you can't be boring. You're one of the drinkin' buddies, a fixture, and if you could, you'd drink 'til morning. Skoal!
Bartender Dan
February 25, 2011 (Top of Page)
Fellowship happens when the boozers arrive, the bar starts jumping, the mood begins to improvise. It's "Hey drinkin' buddy!" and they start to catch up, a conversation brought right to the belly-up. Ice is in the mixing glass, ingredients leave their bottles, then a clinking spoon, swirling, forms the Balmoral Cocktail. The bitters dominate, maybe too much, and the scotch comes on strong; those Dubonnets seem to be hiding. Nobody had a problem. Maybe the double crème garlic and herb Brie on crackers enhanced the total package. Is this what they serve in that Scottish castle? The Deauville came next, moving the cocktail to fashionable resort France. The fruit flavors came through clearly, making the boozers proclaim their allegiance. It was apropos they were now talking about horses, because that town is known for its horse-racing tracks. It's amazing what can be heard at the bar whilst the fellowship roams. No wonder nobody ever wants to go home.
Enjoy your cocktails!
Bartender Dan
February 18, 2011 (Top of Page)
Come on in! Would you like something sweet? How about a cocktail like that, but also bringing the heat? Let's mix some thick liquors together; we'll shake them hard over ice cold rocks to produce a syrupy texture. We've got mint, licorice, and apricot too, with brandy to burn the edges of our golden brew. So sidle up and get ready, because the Button Hook is coming your way. Now take a sip: it tastes like liquid ribbon candy. Wow! Go tell your friends. If you're looking for more sophistication, how about trying the Beverly Hills? It's classy and rich and sports a beautiful look. The taste is delicate and clean. When it shakes up, it gets a little frothy; maybe that comes from the coffee. A dominant orange vapor comes through clearly on top, but then melds with the minor scents into a cool cola fragrance. Very interesting. This cocktail is easy to enjoy, so roll with it ... you're looking good!
Bartender Dan
February 11, 2011 (Top of Page)
When the brickbats come your way, then it's time to sturdy up and join the fray. Never give in until the point gets made: you are here to stay. And the chips? Let them fall. Afterwards, hit the bar and show your mettle by ordering the Dixie Whiskey Cocktail. It's majority bourbon with tiny taste enhancers: mint for some sting, orange, because orange is always good with whiskey, and sugar and bitters, because somebody needs to fight. The water generated by the shake brings everything together in a nice place, but it's still a solid Kentucky butt kicker. Bottoms up! Upon completion, if you're as tough as they say, motion a Hunter's Cocktail your way. It's a stiff drink with no fooling around: it gets mixed in the glass, no shaking. The first tug is heavily rye, but the cherry brandy is deftly there as if to say everything will be okay. The ice melts slowly, and that's the way you should drink it. The flavor mellows over time and the grappling gets easier, but isn't that how it always goes when you hang in there? And the cherry at the bottom says, "Hey, you made it!" Yes, you did.
Bartender Dan
February 4, 2011 (Top of Page)
This week found the boozers in fine spirits having a royally good time. A veritable horn of plenty was laid out, from pastrami topped with smoked peppercorn white cheddar on crackers, to mocha mousse cake, to fine chocolates. Oh yes! And right out of the gate, the Princess Mary's Pride had everyone riding high on their bar stools. Its heady cranberry and apple aroma was fresh, like a healthy green garden on a cool morning. The flavor was strong and delicate at the same time, resulting in a drink to make you want to think ... in between the well-matched savory appetizers anyway. The Queen Elizabeth Wine followed and proved itself a supreme concoction. Its fine composition was reminiscent of a lemon meringue pie flavor, but with an ethereal sense to it. So beautifully done, you'll want to have another one. The sweet appetizers were a perfect match with the cocktail, making the whole spread fit for a queen. Long live the Queen! And pass the chocolate box.
Bartender Dan
January 28, 2011 (Top of Page)
What's driving you to drink? Let's hope it's the celebration of good times and hearty fellowship, not the negatives that life periodically brings. But if problems do stalk, just nip what you can in the bud and divide the rest into small pieces, then stomp them all out. You can do it! And after you've won, head to the bar, because your friends are waiting. They'll need to know how to turn a downward spiral upside down; how to end up standing at the peak, holding a drink and wearing a crown: King Problem Solver! Hoist a Spencer Cocktail first, because it delivers a satisfying burn. Grimace a few orangey apricot sips, then talk of victory through a knowing frown. Your audience will be rapt, drinking to your words, nodding amongst themselves, cataloging everything they've heard. To victory, my friends, with a maraschino cherry kicker! Follow it up with the Rocky Green Dragon, a cocktail that stirs from a trio of powerful stuff. It's an all-liquor heater with a delicate balance; make sure enough ice melts during the blend or it'll have too much power. Take a swig, then tell everyone how you rode roughshod until your problems were tamped down. Enjoy the cool mellow burn and ruminate on what you've learned ... you're drinking for the right reasons.
Bartender Dan
January 21, 2011 (Top of Page)
The cocktails sparkled tonight, settling into an elegant groove, like Tony Bennett singing a Johnny Mercer tune. And like the keys of a Steinway, the taste buds were beautifully tickled with seamless liquid excellence. A Silver Cocktail was introduced first: high class, fresh, clean, crisp, and cool. The twist was spritzed over the top, then the oily zest rubbed itself around the rim just before diving in. Now what you've got is an alcoholic lemon drop, with diamond quality. You deserve it. The Tulip Cocktail was not to be upstaged, arriving with a fine effervescent coherence. All of its ingredients went together exceptionally well, as was heard above the din, "This tastes so great it reminds you that spring boozing season is just around the corner!" Well said, my friend. With lots of fruity character to make the taste buds dance, this cocktail will definitely land on the recommended list. "Sing it, Tony!" What a night!
Bartender Dan
January 14, 2011 (Top of Page)
Crispy cold weather means coats and hats, gloves and scarves, even double-layers to keep a comfortable warmth intact. But that's on the outside, what about in? Well, your bartender's got you covered, with the bulk of a Steaming Bull boldly simmering in the tin. The tequila gets added to an empty mug, providing the boozy kick, then the hot ingredients are poured inside. A quick stir is in order, then your liquor soup is ready to imbibe. So come on in and belly up, because it's time to have a cup. And don't forget the cheese and crackers. M'm! M'm! Good! Of course, every boozer knows exceptional warmth comes from cold cocktails too. So after your hot drink, try the Why Not? and enjoy some frosty heat. The gin and vermouth set the dry edge, allowing the apricot brandy to take credit for warming the soul. Your taste buds won't reject this medium-density cocktail, because it has too much charm. Hey, one look down the bar and everybody's warm. It sure is nice to come in out of the cold.
Bartender Dan
January 7, 2011 (Top of Page)
Will too many ingredients spoil the cocktail? With boozers for judging and a fully-stocked bar, put a drink recipe reading like a laundry list on the night's card. Then the bartender can shake, the customers can take, and in a few sips the verdict will fall. A good candidate for this test is the Golden Gate. It draws a five-bottle crowd, and with produce on the side, conjures up a lot of pre-taste doubt. The result is a smooth fruit salad with just a little bit of bite. One boozer asked, "Can you get me this in a bottle?" Case closed. For this drink, apparently too many ingredients is just enough! Recover some elbow room with the Boston Sidecar. Unlike the opener, the inputs don't cause a crowd, so the taste rumination isn't as hard. The flavor is reminiscent of grapefruit juice, and it looks it too. It has a nastier bite than the first drink, probably modulated by the choice of brandy, but the boozers didn't seem to mind. Everyone downed the drink in the usual time. As a side note, it's getting harder and harder to shoo these barflies away at closing time. It can only be chalked up to excellent drinks and concomitant fellowship. Now we can't ratchet that back, can we? Not in this lifetime.
Bartender Dan