December 21, 2012 (Top of Page)
The shortest day of the year doesn't mean there's less time to drink. It just means the sun goes down early, so what do you think? Let's go out and get some cocktails! We'll start with the Sake-tini. The majority rice brew is naturally sweet and delicate. It tastes exceptionally fresh and flows like super-refined water, psychologically hiding the inner strength. The garnish is a perfect fit. The cocktail goes great with anything freshly made, like guacamole, raw vegetable dip, or sushi. Banzai! We'll tap into some bolder flavors later with the Apple Daiquiri. It has a solid rum base that supports a core of apple brandy and sweetened lemon tartness. It's a sturdy cocktail. The fresh Granny Smith apple slice will stay crunchy even after steeping it slowly. We can also have a bowl of piquant roasted chickpeas on the side to spike the show. So, how about it? Maybe some panicky boozers will belly up to mark the end of the world. We'll toast to that too: "To the end of the world! Drink, you fools! And Merry Christmas!"
Bartender Dan
P.S. We'll see you again, but four days into the New Year ... and no Mayans.
December 14, 2012 (Top of Page)
In a world that's cold and hard, nobody will blame you if you go out looking for some cheer. You'll probably need more than a beer. In that case, start out with the Brandy Manhattan. It's stirred and stout. The brandy brings warmth, but the drink is chill; the vermouth soothes; the bitterness is the pill. The cherry at the end caps some drinking well done. If you and your friends are wondering what life is about, this cocktail helps you figure it out. Drink and think ... and learn. Order the Plaza Cocktail after you see the light; it's golden and clear. The taste is surprisingly sophisticated with a fruity finish that's oily-smooth. The drink has a friendly strength that never overpowers, if stirred right. This is a cocktail to appreciate, like all good things in life. Keep on keepin' on, pal.
Bartender Dan
December 7, 2012 (Top of Page)
When you're fighting the good fight every moment, part of that requires the carving out of some time to honor your betters. You can spin your bar stool around and raise a toast, so do it on the days that mean the most. Tonight, you're raising the Commodore Cocktail with gusto! The flavors work like a team on a well-oiled machine and sail with a lemony, bourbon firmness. The cocoa incorporates with the whisky like a sweet char on the oak barrel; you don't notice it outright. The ingredients seem to combine magnetically into one solid drink. And don't think it won't kick you in the pants by the time you're done. The bourbon guarantees something will be numb, so relish your drink responsibly! The Pacific Pacifier comes to the rescue when times are tough. The tropical orange and banana spiked milk is pure comfort. One sip and you'll be thinking of home, even in faraway places. It's just a creamy container of sweet goodness. But by the time the milky ice is sitting alone in the glass, you'll be glad you're sitting down. Strong, but friendly: now that's a good ally.
To the heroes! Drinks all around!
Bartender Dan
November 30, 2012 (Top of Page) 
There is nothing boozers want to do more than to get back to business, the business of drinking, that is; the wet-the-whistle business! The bar was more than ready. A full complement of boozers bellied up, looking to chase away the Thanksgiving dry spell. Fellowship was abounding as the Bennett made the scene, popping with bubbles of joy. Good in the nose, better on the tongue, the flavor was complex: spicy and sweet lime with tingling heat. The gin was strong, so the legs were long, but boy, it was a beautiful cocktail. Great stuff! Of course, Tony Bennett was swingin' a rollicking set ... they don't miss a beat at Ralph's. The Cardinal was the favorite of the night, though. It had a soft roll to it, smooth and refreshing. The Amaretto and grenadine brought the sweet, but the lime juice kept it in check. The rum and triple sec provided a solid foundation and everything just melded together. That's when the boozers started wishing things would last forever. Too bad there's something in the business called "closing time." Oh well.
Bartender Dan
November 16, 2012 (Top of Page)
In a happy bar they do it nice with well-made cocktails on jingling ice. The smiling customers grip their drinks; they don't care what anyone thinks while they laugh amongst good friends. The Gin Cassis is the first cocktail of the night. It has a light scent that portends refreshment: enticing, simple, and clean. The gin is much friendlier than expected, probably due to the tasty and smooth black currant portion. This cocktail doesn't look for attention, it's for support, something to wield as it helps you bolster the good times. And when it runs out, another cocktail is shaken, jangling over rocky ice in the frosty tin. Pouring out thick is the Presto Cocktail. It's packed with dense flavor. The Pernod teams up with the orange juice and turns it into a sour orange. The brandy and red vermouth plumb the depths, adding thickness. The taste is a mystery that needs to be studied, but the boozers aren't in a scholarly mood. Tonight is for celebration. The fuel is the wonderful libations mixed at their favorite bar, and there's nothing wrong with that!
Bartender Dan
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving! We'll be back and open the following week.
November 9, 2012 (Top of Page)
The dark barroom has a dimly lit stage; the jazz trio is piano, drums, and bass. Bill Evans' take on "Make Someone Happy" digs the melancholy mood of the current scene. His plaintive notes softly tumble, mingling with the clientele. The Pain Killer gets served at Table 2. The drink looks thick, but it's actually quite light. The creamy coconut with pineapple and orange juice is like a vacation over ice; the rum romps with the spice, but it numbs too. Truth in advertising. The drink takes a while to consume, but it's no problem: the cats on stage are jammin'. The mood brightens when the Café Romano is served. The Sambuca mates with the coffee liqueur, forming one note made creamy by the half-and-half. The flavors roll over and over, always in balance, running away as soon as they're identified. Licorice and coffee and sweetness: it's unique. Somebody should bottle it. By the time the cocktail is finished, things are looking up at Table 2. The set is winding down and it's time to get back in the mix. A night of hip jazz and drinking: that's the fix.
Bartender Dan
November 2, 2012 (Top of Page)
When you want to pass the time idly, that means you want to lounge. And if you have a cocktail in your hand, that can be some of the best time-passing around. You also might think a big drink could extend your pleasure. Well, you'd be right. For a good candidate to fill your idle time, try the Grand Margarita. Its salty rim gives way to a superbly even flavor. The orange-and-cognac liqueur offsets the tartness of the lime juice while the silver tequila balances them both in its capable hands. It delivers a powerful hit with no pain, so drink with care. Margaritas are mighty tasty, especially when you're feeling lazy. Salsa and chips, anyone? When you get too much salt, trade in for the sugar-rimmed Rum Crusta. It's another potent cocktail that packs a friendly taste. The flavor is deep and rich, almost like a buttery orange brown sugar. The double-splashed enhancements just add more depth, causing many thoughtful sips trying to find them. Take your time enjoying this one. It's beautiful, but it leaves your head swimming with a smiley numbness. Luckily, you carved out plenty of time to lounge.
Bartender Dan
October 26, 2012 (Top of Page)
Ominous clouds were wisping over the waxing moon. The scary thought was it would be full soon, casting shadows in old graveyards and haunted, cobwebbed rooms. Out on the cold sidewalk, the bar's neon sign was the only thing radiating warmth. You opened its door and quickly felt a relief. There was a friendly welcome, so you removed your coat and took a seat. The Merry Widow was waiting at the bar, a hot gin stomper with a Pernod heart. Its lemon scent was fresh and the bitters were neat, but the licorice taste really hung around. They had excellent Irish Dubliner cheese on herbed garlic water crackers to clean the slate. You drank and ate. These people knew how to celebrate! When the Hair Raiser Cocktail was introduced, everyone up and down the bar got spooked. There was a lot of tart ingredient, but it tasted like lemon meringue pie, probably due to the smooth Rock & Rye. There was nothing frightening about it! Who named this drink? It spread nothing but good vibes. Unfortunately, at closing time, you were forced to venture back out into the cold and ominous, looming gloom. Boo!
Bartender Dan
October 19, 2012 (Top of Page)
Though the sun shines bright, you get quite the fright when a deep chill settles into the darkness after it goes down. But you put your coat on and embrace the seasonal change, knowing that one thing still remains the same: your drinking. You hit the bar. Inside, the weather is pleasant and that bartender's got a present for you, namely, the Deep Sea. It fits your hand like a glove and for your senses there's plenty to love. The balance of the orange bitters and anise is perfect. The superfine gin is subtle and smooth while jostling its buddy, the dry vermouth. The scent is fresh. This is what you'd drink after landing that big fish; it defines success. But if that doesn't make you beam, the Royal Smile Cocktail certainly will. The gin and lemon juice form a tart undercarriage for this fruity and snappy apple punch. The Grenadine brings the necessary sweetness and some seasonal color to boot. This drink has a spark, just like you. Light up the night, my friend.
Bartender Dan
October 12, 2012 (Top of Page)
A vintage boozer made a rare appearance tonight, dishing out gifts and juicy stories to spice up the scene. Everyone sat smiling in the low light, getting caught up on all the drama. Some were offering sage input as the Costa Del Sol arrived for the first round. Now the wheels were greased! The cocktail was a slippery syrup of sweet apricot and orange tastiness. The icy torrent was also quite potent, easily powering the spirited conversation. Luckily, the bartender knew how to shake and dilute the concoction just right before unleashing it. The Fantasio kept the ball rolling with rich brandy quality and a hint of lofty mint sting. The cocktail had a liqueur sense to it with a fine syrupy texture not unlike the opener. Stirred to prepare, it was met with celebratory hoots as the party cascaded into the night. Eventually, the boozers plopped off their bar stools at closing time, all talked out and caught up as old friends. Soon they were out the door exclaiming, "Until next time!"
Bartender Dan
October 5, 2012 (Top of Page)
There's a lot to be said for a comfortable chair, you know, the one over there by the bar. After two weeks of being gone, you wanted to run to get back on that swivel, but you stayed cool. And it's good to be back at this local bar, because that's where all your friends are too. After the bartender built the Beauty Spot, you grabbed it quick. He almost had a fit trying to keep the pre-pour Grenadine anchor from incorporating with the shaken mixture. The color of the presentation said he was somewhat of a failure, but that didn't really matter to you. The cocktail was kind of pillowy, having a soft apricot taste wrapped inside a mild heat that bristled for an outer coating. You drank it down to the red "spot" while you were talking a lot with your good buddies. The Silk Stockings arrived next and it was creamy-smooth. The cinnamon dusting on top suggested a holiday feeling; it seemed just right for kicking things off after the first frost. The blue agave flavor gave it an extra Mexican kick that intensified the festivity. It was a happy cocktail greeted by smiling customers, all glad to be back on the town.
Here at home, sweet home!
Bartender Dan
September 21, 2012 (Top of Page)
It was an easygoing night at the bar. The regulars were boozing with a guest from afar, hailing from Jersey City to be exact. The Chairman of the Board from Hoboken was singing selections from his Reprise Collection all night long, making the joint feel like home. The Indian River filled the cocktail glasses, flowing to much expectation. There was a late summer fruit harvest feeling to it, fresh and clean; the first taste was reminiscent of a plum. Everyone quickly settled into a good vibe, drinking and smiling all the while, catching up on old times. Nice cocktail. The Serpent's Tooth iced up the tumblers when the first drink ran dry. Its light and uplifting flavor was slightly cherry in tone. Coming from all its disparate parts, that was quite an accomplishment. It's a real quencher. You won't be rolling snake eyes with this drink, because it's a winner.
Good crowd tonight, and good music too, cool and easy.
Bartender Dan
P.S. The bar will be closed next Friday. We'll see you in two weeks!
September 14, 2012 (Top of Page)
When you're truly smart, it's hard to be stupid, but even smart people make mistakes. But those who won't admit their mistakes just end up defending stupid, and there's nothing smart about that. Maybe those people were just getting lucky and calling it intelligence. Now, there's something to think about while you're drinking. Do some smart thinking over a Bloody Brew, because it'll give you ample time to work things out. It's a big bucket of flavor: tomato and beer with a salty dill pickle spear to stir the stealthy vodka underneath the mildness. This one's built in an icy glass, but don't start with too much ice or you'll get an overflow. The pickle scent is fantastic. This one's a glass basket of garden flavors. Once your thought process becomes clear, order a Dry Manhattan to confirm your intelligence.
The dryness really comes through, maybe too much, and you'll remind yourself why the classic sweet vermouth Manhattan is still the king. This is a strong cocktail, no doubt for the strong of mind. Dry and rye; here's mud in your eye!
You came out drinking tonight to figure a few things out ... smart move.
Bartender Dan
September 7, 2012 (Top of Page)
As summertime winds down the darkness falls a little earlier when you're out on the town. And the glowing signs on your favorite street lead to that bar where you've got friends to meet. What a beautiful night! It gets even better when you finally belly up to your crispy-cold Daiquiri. It's a tart and tangy light rum sour that's pretty potent too. The recipe could probably use more sweetness, but your friends are happy and you're happy. Isn't that all that really matters? Good times! The Annabelle Special follows up when the cocktail glasses go dry while the conversations fly. The diminutive vermouth and lime juice lift the ancient liqueur as it's stirred, turning it into an exotic liquid fruit. Talk about excellent! But that's why you came out tonight: you were looking for something special, and you got it.
Bartender Dan
August 31, 2012 (Top of Page)
When the pressure builds it seems like time is moving faster. With people to see and places to be, your deadlines loom like a specter. And all your tasks take longer than you think they should, but that's the price of being good at the job. And when you're finally done and feeling beat down, everyone takes it for granted! So much for being the hero, it's time for a drink. Hit the local watering hole and order a Suffering Bastard. Its empty Collins glass gets coated inside with bitters, then after the excess is poured out, major construction begins. Ice, liquor, juice and syrup tumble in, getting stirred vigorously, then the ginger beer tops it up, followed by a light stir. Fresh garnish caps it off and soon you're delving deep into hard refreshment. A whirling and swirling will occur just above your brain stem and all pain will be taken away. It's a long lasting drink and you may sink into a stupor, so be careful. Sometimes the bitters even leave little lines on the glass, like scars. Yeah. Stumble into the Ward Eight next and cast your vote for nice and tart, but still smart. This cocktail foams a cohesive combination of bourbon, sweet, and sour with a pleasing garnish. It steeps a good cherry, that's for sure. Drink up my friend, the grind awaits you again tomorrow.
Bartender Dan
August 24, 2012 (Top of Page)
The boozers were back on the rail, but still winding down from the previous week's festivities. That's because the Portlander brings an intensity that multiplies good fellowship density. Whew! And with the dog days of summer still burning, everyone was primed for an easy go with something frosty and slow. Enter the Pirate's Julep: built in the glass and meant to last. The mint leaves and syrup were muddled on the bottom first, setting off a nice aroma, then the bitters splashed in. Next, the glass was filled to the top with crushed ice and treated with a healthy rum coating. The contents were stirred until the glass frosted, then the orange liqueur was floated on top and spiked with a fresh mint sprig. This one's strong and more bitter than sweet. Lookout, land ho! Don't hit the reef! Try stabbing some blocks of soft Muenster cheese on the side and work on sailing a steady course. And when you're ready to call it a night, the Limbo Cocktail should tuck you in tight. The banana and orange components blend into the rum's weightiness to form a thick texture. It's a strong banana blitz, so take some slow sips. Team it with something sweet and you can't go wrong. Ah, the bar life!
Bartender Dan
August 17, 2012 (Top of Page)
Special night! The Portlander blew back into town after more than two years of not being around. Gifting booze bottles and bearing chocolate cake, it was straight to the belly-up promising no mistake: it would be a raucous night. Things got underway with the Mickey Finn Cocktail, named after that unsavory Chicagoan of old. Stirred to mix, the drink had a medicinal taste that was hard to define. The Hendrick's was hidden, that's a crime, while the anise and mint flavors fought in the foreground. The only loser was the drinker, but serious boozers were on the rail tonight, so nobody bailed. Hey, everyone loved the cherry! The Blue Moon conjured up next, seeing as how sightings of the Portlander are rare in these parts. An actual blue moon is scheduled two weeks from tonight, but who says you can't celebrate early? The drink was a pleasing gin heater, stirred to mix, with an ample lemon oil spritz. Needless to say, the boozers relished it. Soon the place got hot, exploding like a boisterous casino. The Rat Pack and Bobby Darin contributed world-class sets and the good times rolled like jumping dice. What a night!
Bartender Dan
August 10, 2012 (Top of Page)
Many people don't think about the beginning until they reach the end. Then amidst a pile of mistakes they ask, "What went wrong with that plan?" Once you realize the start predicts the future, that's when success becomes your very best friend. And success breeds celebration, and that means good-time drinkin'. Try the Oriental if you want a solid start. All the ingredients meld into a complex fruitiness that's just fantastic. The drink has depth, but it's not too heavy. It would be great with a leftover piece of homemade peach pie cold from the refrigerator. Now that's a tasty get-go! When you approach the end of the night, the Stinger won't do you wrong. Its candied mint sweetness rides over the slippery cold rocks with smooth brandy comfort and style; the trick is to make it last a while. It's hard to imagine any successful boozer not taking a shine to it, because it's no mistake, it's a definite winner.
Chalk up another successful night at the bar!
Bartender Dan
August 3, 2012 (Top of Page)
The best clientele is the usual crowd. They know the scene and they're not too loud. And when the musical act comes on, they show their respect; when it's the legendary Bobby Darin, like tonight, some even genuflect. A light and lively Polynesian Cocktail accompanied his opening set. It was a real pleaser, staying fruity and sweet right to the end. When Bobby was singing "Beyond The Sea" everything started making sense, but by then the drink was fading. No more sailin', indeed. A Scotch Sour filled the void, hanging a smoky backdrop on some sweet and sour, deep lemon goodness. The cherry got steeped and the orange slice nullified some of the tartness. Good garnish!
As Bobby belted out "I Got Rhythm," some swore he was singing, "I've got my drink, who could ask for anything more? Who could ask for anything more?"
Nobody was asking for anything more tonight. Everything was provided!
Bartender Dan
July 27, 2012 (Top of Page)
Here's how boozers compete in a race: the bar doors open; they run to their place. On this night they all finished the same, each with a frosty London Cocktail firmly in hand. It was a primary gin cocktail of excellent taste. The sweetness: just right; the orange addition: a delight; the lemon twist: out of sight! The maraschino flavor was heavenly too, enough to have them singing, "I get a kick out of you!" This drink could be served in a bar on Mount Olympus, it's that good. The Huntress Cocktail came next and it was seriously smooth. The bourbon came to bear within the subordinate cold and creamy flavors like a friendly threat. It hit right on target, center mass,
but in a soothing sort of way. You could almost feel the wind in your hair. This one's on the mark, even in the dark, so you can't lose.
Everybody wins at the bar.
Bartender Dan
July 20, 2012 (Top of Page)
Limping around and broken down, that's how you'll close out a tough week in this town. And if it's not this week, it'll be the next. It's almost enough to make you cash it all in ... but that's nonsense! Drag yourself into the local bar where they know who you are instead. Let'em fix you up: the Corpse Reviver is the medicine you need. It has a pleasing apple scent, but stings with tough love. It's like a leather strap across your back; it's a burning brandy attack. And after that vital core gets poured back in, you can start thinking about all the good things in life again. Good for you! And think about all those old friends who can't be revived. They're sitting here in spirit right by your side, so raise a toast: "To all good buddies, past and present! Skoal!" As you continue celebrating life, do it with a cheerful Halley's Comfort. It's a tasty peach package that's mixed in-glass: liquor over ice, topped up with soda water and stirred light, then garnished with a lemon slice. It's a crowd pleaser, but it really numbs the senses. It'll blaze through your skull and leave a trail of stars, but boy, does it taste good! And look at that lemon, it's as bright as the sun, just like tomorrow will be.
Bartender Dan
July 13, 2012 (Top of Page)
Another week of sizzling on the front burner had the boozers primed, looking for a no-sweat Friday night cool-out. No problem. The St. Lucia gave them something to quench in an icy highball. Its dense, muted orange flavor came draped in a potent rum coating. It was one of those back porch slow-drinkers that pummels you in the end. The blanched boozers drank it with gusto and forgot all about the heat. Hey, they had a cherry to eat! The East India followed on a similar bent with thick tastiness. The pineapple and orange combined with the rich brandy to form a dense flavor, while the bitters subtly bristled, making the cocktail a delight. It was good, but powerful. And after the night's opener, the boozers were getting a little numb, so it was time to just sit back and be cool for a while. That's good fellowship.
When the heat keeps coming, the bar keeps humming.
Bartender Dan
July 6, 2012 (Top of Page)
When the mercury hits 100 degrees, it's time to set yourself at ease with a really cool cocktail. Try kicking back with the Tanqstream. It's a gin and tonic with some extra stuff on it that's sure to please. The construction comes in layers. First, the namesake gin and lime juice get shaken, forming the flavor core to pour into a glass half-filled with ice. Next, the tonic water plunges in followed by the cassis, which adds a cloud of color and a fine berry flavor. A light stir and fruit garnish puts the final touches on this very refreshing cooler. The only improvement would be adding a sip/stir straw for spearing the blueberries with dignity at the end. Ralph's Bar garnishes with homegrown blueberries and they're absurdly delicious! For a follow-up, how about trying a layered shot like the Boomerang? The bourbon floats on top of the German liqueur for a double-barreled shotgun blast of flavor. Sling the ounce back with a deft throw, else you'll be dribbling it down your chin like a greenhorn. You don't want this drink coming back at you. The combination is smooth and goes down fast, leaving no real lasting impression except maybe you'd like to try one more. Now it's got you.
It might be extra hot out, but it's very cool in the bar.
Bartender Dan
June 29, 2012 (Top of Page)
One thing's for sure: things will never be the same. And just when you think you've got a sure thing coming, it usually blows up in your face. It's enough to make you bitter. Luckily, you can go drink it off at the bar. Drop in and plop yourself down. Order an Old Pal Cocktail and let it tell the story. The ruddy gem starts off pleasantly sweet and lively, but ends with a bitter taste in the mouth. Yeah, that's exactly what happened! At least the progression with the drink is quite enjoyable; it could even make you raise a brow. Maybe things aren't so bad after all. Besides, there's always tomorrow. If you're still in a funk, though, try the Tequila Manhattan on for size. There isn't a lot of taste except for the tequila, but the garnish sure is nice. This one's a heavy hitter and that's all you want sometimes. Just belly up and sip that clear cup until the disappointment washes away.
Oh well, that's life.
Bartender Dan
June 22, 2012 (Top of Page)
A well-stocked bar keeps French brandy handy, so why not dedicate a night to it and start out with the Bob Danby? Okay. Dominated by the aperitif wine, the cocktail features its lush fruitiness while the brandy sits behind the sweetness to provide the necessary boost. The flavor runs deep and its very pleasing, so the cocktail doesn't last in the glass. It goes by way too fast, like listening to Judy Garland's concert recorded live at Carnegie Hall in 1961. Encore! Please, just one more! We'll make the Dream Cocktail instead to deliver something really special. The orange of the triple sec combines exquisitely with the brandy and the amount of Pernod is just right to add a little spice. It's a finely tuned golden treat with a placid beauty that's easy on the eyes. You'll be telling your friends about this one because it's a dream to drink. Tip it back. It's like peering through a French brandy looking glass. Oh wow!
Bartender Dan
June 8, 2012 (Top of Page)
If you've ever traveled alone on a route that's slow, there's nothing quite like finally getting home. And all the strangers you've met can never compete with the friends you know. See? They're all here to greet you as you step in the door. Of the bar, of course. They ordered you a Silver Streak, but the bottles look scary. You tip it back and it's actually quite good. It tastes like maybe a liquid closed-grain hardwood should ... or something. Anyway, it puts a smile on your face and you start telling a few stories the right way, so nobody gets bored. You see, it just so happens you traveled deep into the forest, then nearly had to fight your way out of a situation ... this is where you order a Pancho Villa as your next libation. The apricot flavor comes through quickly, just before the other flavors start bouncing on your taste buds. It's a lively treat with good strength and a little bristle, but smooth enough to win a crowd over. Like your travel stories. It was a long trip.
Bartender Dan
P.S. Next week we'll be closed, but don't be late the following week!
June 1, 2012 (Top of Page) 
It was a quiet night. The Biggest Boozer came in alone because this boozer isn't a variable, this boozer's a constant. The session opened casually with a cool Scarlett O'Hara. The Biggest Boozer declared it a "Lady's Drink" after two sips. It had plenty of juice to override even the extra-proof liqueur, which stayed in the background. The cranberry taste was prominent and the lime juice enhanced the tartness, but it was an easy drinker in the end. No problems. The Gentle Bull was even easier to consume. It was smooth and comforting. As with all dairy cocktails, it's hard not to get carried away and drink too fast. The liquors lurk in the creamy innocence, subtly punching away. Before you know it, the glass is dry and you're a little loopy. But not if you're the Biggest Boozer, because you've been here before.
It's always a pleasure to belly up with a pro.
Bartender Dan
May 25, 2012 (Top of Page)
One of the regulars, known as the Vegas Kid, lugged in with a sore throat, so that pretty much wrote the drink menu. It was time for a cure. A look in the old archives unearthed the Sir Walter Raleigh Cocktail; it was listed as "A Lite NyQuil." Barkeep! A round was sent across the bar, pronto. Though the ingredients were weighty, it tasted like a light and lively red cough syrup of very high quality. The dark rum and brandy were buttery smooth to coat the throat. The citrus flavors were soft and gentle, so there wasn't any grating on the way down. It was pleasing and easy; that's good medicine. The Vegas Kid was talking common cold, so the Lugger came rolling in with a power load of brandy. It was another coat for the throat. The cocktail was a heavy pounder, but surprisingly easy to drink and it had the boozers weaving across the floor. At least they weren't heading for the door, we don't let'em leave like that at Ralph's.
If you need liquid medicine, we've got healthy doses right here, administered by professionals.
Bartender Dan
May 18, 2012 (Top of Page)
Sometimes what's smart is just doing your part; you can't be a hero all the time. So what if the goal gets reached and the praise gets heaped on those who don't matter? They know it couldn't be done without you. That's why you're smiling after hours, comfortably sipping a stern Yale Cocktail. Its cherry and orange accents are calculated with precision, crafting a grand flavor experience for the true connoisseur. This strong cocktail makes you think you're pretty smart, until it sets your gray matter on fire. Ride a softened edge and be as dull as the rest, at least for tonight. When it's time to snap back, the Stirrup Cup can help you get back in the old saddle. It's an excellent hard cherry lemonade, very enjoyable and icy. This drink easily tempers hot situations to make the going smooth. You'll want to make it a double, it's that good.
You're here tonight for a reason, so toast to success. Let the good times roll and remember: confidence is its own reward.
Bartender Dan
May 11, 2012 (Top of Page)
It's the end of the week. All your chores are done. How about you kick back and have a little fun? Something of the boozy persuasion should get the ball rolling, maybe a big cooler. Try the Stone Fence. It's a slow icy roller, just right for cultivating fine fellowship over an extended period of time. The scotch and bitters are definitely there, tamping down the sparkly apple cider's innocence. Smoky-cold. It gets mixed in the glass: ice, scotch and bitters, then a cider-up and stir. Maybe you add a little more ice ... brrr! Before you know it, the night's getting old and it's almost time to go. The Toasted Almond provides a great exit strategy. The mix is superbly smooth, creamy and cold. It's comfortable sweetness, a great dessert cocktail for those who deserve a coffee and almond reward.
Here's to a job well done!
Bartender Dan
May 4, 2012 (Top of Page)
The boozers raced to their traditional places along the bar tonight, betting on good times. A comfortable bar stool with the requisite elbow room for hoisting a drink just can't be beat. The Mint Julep topped the menu on this Kentucky Derby eve, a beneficiary of the thriving Ralph's Bar mint garden. Only half portions were served in a small glass; the bartender didn't want the boozers leaving the gate too fast. The full recipe (as shown) has the mint and sugar muddled in a highball glass; crushed ice follows and then the bourbon pours. Do a light stir, garnish with a sprig or two for the nose, then spike double straws and you've got yourself a classic. Sweet, powerful Kentucky whisky! With the boozers still running, looking to visit the next stop of the Triple Crown, the Preakness Cocktail was a sure place bet. Its complexity was exciting: a beautiful, fresh and spicy sweetness combined with a suggested harshness that was really just a smoky shadow. It had a light texture, but the result was heavy as it stayed strong down the stretch. Go, baby, go!
Man, these horse race fans sure get blitzed!
Bartender Dan
April 27, 2012 (Top of Page)
Tonight the boozers came in and slammed their fists down, "We want substantial drinks and we want them now!" The bartender shot back, "You came to the right place," then mixed the Applejack Sour right in their face. As they took their swigs, they nodded all around, "Well, we might as well sit down!" A lemonized apple brandy face-slapper is what they got. The drink wasn't too stern, there was sweetness to the burn, but it certainly was substantial. It was good old sour power and they happily drained it down. Then they posed the classic boozer question, "What's the capper?" The bartender grabbed the Campari and said, "Let's bring something bitter to this party." The Rosita poured iceless with a misted twist after being stirred to perfection. The boozers smiled. It came on rosy sweet with a great lemon oil scent, then the bitterness hit and wiped the smiles off their faces. The bartender smirked, "I warned you!" And that's when the fellowship really kicked in, riding on a two-stage drink that was tasting better all the time. The blue agave was super smooth and the overall power level was potent; it was the kind of drink that lasts for more than a moment. The boozers tipped their glasses back and forth, swirled the contents around, talked into the night, doing the town. It always pays to stand your ground.
Bartender Dan
April 20, 2012 (Top of Page)
You'd think the world would be full of common sense, but when you find so little around it can really make you tense. Sometimes you've got to wade through a parade of jokers just to find one bright spot ... like it or not, that's life. But cocktails can make sense when they're expertly made and enjoyed with friends. Try bellying up with the Ideal Cocktail; it won't insult your intelligence or waste your time. The gin clarity straddles the borderline between being your buddy and burning the house down. It tastes open and thin so you can discern everything. In the end it all makes sense, right down to the cherry. It's a solid drink with lots of class. Now the Nevins, it's dense, but not dumb. The fruity taste is complex and unique, sporting an Angostura accent on the natural citrus bitterness. The apricot brandy and bourbon punch deeply, so you might get a little tipsy. That's no problem for a pro. It might even be the key to getting your creative juices flowing. Anyway, you know when to stop; it's only common sense.
Bartender Dan
April 13, 2012 (Top of Page)
Taxes are almost due and the spring lags a chill in the air, but you're gonna buck the doom and act like you don't care. It's time to get a drink. You'll get those taxes done, but for now you'll just hit the bar and think about the weather getting warm. First up is the Tahiti Club for an order of instant summertime. The taste has a sweet and playful start, but finishes with a complex purpose; it makes you think. The citrus and pineapple juices meld nicely into one as the maraschino liqueur rounds over the top, making all the edges soft. The rum provides some thickness while the orange slice is pure bonus. Hey, this one's a keeper, so bottoms up! Then after you drain the first one of the night, it's time to order the Moonlight. Watching all the lemon juice going into the shaker might make you think this drink will be overly tart. On the contrary, it's a beautiful mix. It's like a light and lively bitter lemon-apple soda, slightly sweet, but with very small bubbles. Not bad at all. It's quite enjoyable as a long haul drink over ice, a good cocktail to get your head right. Savor it down to nothing but ice, then head back home to the task at hand. It was a nice break, though, wasn't it?
Bartender Dan
March 30, 2012 (Top of Page)
Hey, grab a seat. Fellowship is what you'll meet when your friends start to gather 'round. In the meantime, enjoy a Netherlands. It's an orange sizzle on ice with some heft to it. The ice jingles on the glass to play a boozin' tune that's really nice. It's the kind of drink that manages to last as long as you want it to; now that's a lot to like. When your drinkin' buddies arrive, buy them a round of the Mary Garden Cocktail. It drinks easy to keep the head clear for meaningful conversation. The taste is rich and fruity, but not bouncy like citrus. It's more like meaty smudges of fortified dark berries pressed into deep, sweet layers. Talk about depth of flavor; your friends will like it. Hey, they're coming in the door right now ...
Bartender Dan
P.S. No drinking next week, we'll see you after the Easter break!
March 23, 2012 (Top of Page) 
And so it goes, another week of rigamarole. The way to shut that kind of nonsense down is with a late Friday stint at the local bar, boozin' somethin' simple and stern. The Imperial Cocktail will snap your senses back in line, so start drinking and you'll be fine. The cool fragrance off the top is enticing. The taste is almost cherry-sweet a split-second in, but the dryness prevails and bitter reality sets in. You're drinking the cold, hard truth. With "The Complete Tony Bennett and Bill Evans Recordings" playing, the drink toes the line. You set it down and your thoughts start to improvise. Somebody passes you the cheese and crackers ... yeah. When your cocktail glass drains, the bartender pushes you the Victor. It's stark reality too, but the brandy sweetens the deal more. This one is smoother; it doesn't celebrate life's friction. You enjoy some mixed nuts on the side and your thoughts start to crystallize: there is a way to win. Then you drift away as "Some Other Time" (alternate, take 7) is playing, because Bill's piano solo transcends excellence. Tony sings, "Just when the fun is starting, comes the time for parting. Oh well, we'll catch up some other time."
Like next Friday night.
Bartender Dan
March 16, 2012 (Top of Page)
Head start! The boozers did their part to pretend the leap year didn't push St. Patrick's Day onto Saturday. It was supposed to be on Friday, dang it, on Drink Night, and that's all there was to it! Green was flowing early and often. A fresh bowl of Guacamole was available right from the belly-up, followed quickly by a cold Green Dragon. The cocktail's minty flavor was prominent, but only as an outer shell. Swirling it around revealed a layer of lime and eventually a bittered gin center. The medicinal liqueur blended smoothly, providing an herbal shadow of flavor. Very interesting ... and consumed heartily by the clientele. Lots of green was good, but a belt of Irish whiskey was a requirement. The Irish Kilt met greedy hands with a beautiful blending of neighboring whisky, soured by the perfect amount of lemon juice and bitters. The added sweetness was friendly and muted the smokiness of the scotch just right. Splendid! Maximum enjoyment was had by all, though the Biggest Boozer did report wooziness by the end of the night.
Mission "Blarney" accomplished!
Bartender Dan
March 9, 2012 (Top of Page)
Come on in, pull up a stool: the bar's made for resting elbows and looking around, plus there's talking to do. Maybe you've come to contemplate some serious thoughts. In that case, order the Trilby Cocktail and state your position; the bartender will bend an ear. You'll tell your story through clenched teeth in reaction to its strong and bitter taste. The whisky is liquid truth straight from the oak cask, nothing could be more stark. This cocktail is a problem-solver, because there's no place to hide. So take another hit, make another decision ... such is life. When the mood lifts, try something soft and easy like the Golden Dream. It throws a monkey wrench into the usual cocktail scene. The taste is maybe banana, then it seems like citrus and coconut cream. The sweet flavor fun is courtesy of the Galliano, of course. It's surprising how a little half-and-half can produce such a milky texture too. This drink is mighty tasty, but also powerful, so stay firmly planted on that bar stool. By the end of the night you'll probably have a numb nose due to the cocktails you chose. Is there a problem with that? Nah!
Bartender Dan
March 2, 2012 (Top of Page)
Sitting in the bar, it's a casual scene, you're talking with friends and they know what you mean. You're talking about life, how the seasons change, the cast of characters and who remains. In your hand is a tumbler fresh from the bar, the Brave Bull; that's who you are. It keeps you alert with its fresh lemon twist, tasting like a flat coffee cola. Mixed in the glass over ice with a stir, nothing could be more simple. You talk away until the ice hits bottom and it gets near time to put the night to bed. The smooth Cherry Rum comes at you and your buddies, delivering the requisite nightcap. Easy does it, that's how the rum and brandy mix, while the half-and-half is frothy and soothing. The dairy tends to separate quickly, making you wish there was a stir stick embellishment. Oh well, live and learn. But that's life, not always so aesthetic, but that's what you were talking about earlier ... and somehow it all works out.
Bartender Dan
February 24, 2012 (Top of Page)
Never fear, we've got your cocktails here at Ralph's Bar. And we're calendar conscious, so sit down and munch as an appropriate drink gets prepared; how about the mixed nuts? When the Leap Year Cocktail arrives, you'll need to respect its heat. Hot orange is how it comes in, because we use high-proof dry gin in this establishment. The drink will get stronger and start to blister the more you sip it. You could easily take a 4-year break from this cocktail and not miss it. Now the Saucy Sue-Sue, that'll be your redeeming grace. It has a kind of apple sauce taste in a way. The apple and apricot brandy mix well with the snoot-snappy orange twist, while the Pernod's barely there for deft dissonance. It's a nice brew with a pleasing oily depth, but it also hits hard; the 100-proof straight apple brandy is the culprit. Maybe we'll switch back to applejack on our next restock. There are going be some swirling heads by night's end, but you Ralph's boozers can handle it.
Hear that? Frank's singing "Please Be Kind" right now ... talk about a theme song for tonight's cocktail menu!
Bartender Dan
February 17, 2012 (Top of Page)
It was a rough week, tough as leather, and the boozers were looking to relax. To navigate a pleasing night is the bartender's task, so an easy float on the cocktail boat seemed to be the proper course. Knots were untied and the boozers were soon sailing Caribbean humidity, spying the Cuban Cocktail off the port side. It had a deep and mysteriously good flavor with a density of light nectar. The lime started up front, a little bold, but the brandied apricot and rum quickly washed in for a great ending. It all blended into some kind of mystical tropical fruit. Yes! And bring out the deck chairs! Turning starboard, the boozers looped back up north to drink in the Fort Lauderdale. The orange scent was so welcoming they just sat there nosing it in for a while. The taste was refreshing and light, like citrus sunshine; that's Florida. There was plenty of shaking of ice in the glass, hearty sipping and good-natured jousting, maybe even a little sass. And the overall result? The rigorous work week was now in the past, at last.
Bartender Dan
February 10, 2012 (Top of Page)
The quest for fellowship; a thirst for good times. Is that what you're looking for? That's what you'll find at your favorite local bar. The neon sign is like a jewel in the dark, after you've found a place to park. You envy your friends who live within walking distance, but you all meet inside. The bar stools are warm, then the cocktails arrive. The Amaretto Stinger flashes gold in the spotlight of your discerning eyes. The taste is perfectly sweet with a pleasing bitter and spicy almond aroma. It's a cold liquid candy of the highest order, capable of sparking joyous flashbacks to the holiday season. Good times! Then the Charlie Chaplin saunters in quietly, tasting like the best batch of red Kool-Aid you ever made as a kid. Festive and light, it reminds you of summer and laughing in high-decibel excitement. It also tempts you to guzzle, but that would be a mistake. You don't want to end up on your rear end, though that would be some raucous fellowship!
Bartender Dan
February 3, 2012 (Top of Page)
Easygoing and easy does it, that's how it was at the bar tonight. The patrons were buzzing in light subdued; the Chairman of the Board took the stage to sing his most popular tunes. And the boozers needed a cocktail, so in came the Polo Dream. The orange and almond syrup almost turned fuzzy coconut in the smooth bourbon depth. The drink was mellow, though a little warm and sleepy, but everyone garnered good fellowship, and bar nuts, amid the songs. A slight wake-up seemed in order, so the Puerto Apple did the trick. It stayed with the almond theme, but jumped with bright lime and hard apple. The rum rubbed out any rough edges and the drink was light and well-balanced; ice cold too. With reasonable slabs of garlic chili pepper cheddar cheese on crackers on the side, the mood got spicy and hot. It was like a night in Vegas with Frank and the slot machines singing, coins ringing out against the metal payout trays ... at least that's how it was in the olden days.
It sure is a kick drinking here at Ralph's Bar!
Bartender Dan
January 27, 2012 (Top of Page)
Big drinks for big boozers tonight, packing enough power to make a greenhorn take flight. The Hasty Cocktail was the first to greet and it came on strong as an ice-cold, dry gin scorcher. "So pleased to, uh, meet you!" The anise dominated the scene more than the splash of Grenadine could counter. The overall drink was on constant attack, not really trying to be tasty. If you ever need a cure for boredom, this one's it. The Paddy Cocktail also packed a punch, but in a much more interesting way. The aroma was fantastic, hinting at root beer crossed with brown beer fresh from the keg. It had a bittersweet old-time flavor, like horehound hard candy ... and the bubbles never end! An excellent cocktail; you've got to try this. Score one for the Irish!
Bartender Dan
P.S. The Hasty Cocktail seemed very familiar, because you don't forget taking a beating like that. A search through cocktail history revealed the Road Runner is the same drink, only with less Pernod. What went around eventually came around. Ouch!
January 20, 2012 (Top of Page)
The cocktails tonight were of intense flavor, scoring high on the liquor density scale. Both started out quite pleasing, but at the bottom of each glass you'd come to realize you might be in the tank. Whoa! The first hit was the Brandy Cassis. The cassis was prominent and the initial taste was quite chipper. The flavors ran deep, but there was a fine sizzle on the tip of the tongue at every finish to add excitement. At the end of the drink: heavy eyelids. The second hit was the Grand Occasion. The cocoa and orange mixed well with their lemon juice binder. The flavors were enjoyable to dissect, but played above a powerful rum base that carried a lot of weight. At the end of the drink: wobbly eyeballs and lazy neck muscles. It was no time for refills; time to get situated instead. Man, it was a heavy night.
Bartender Dan
P.S. One of the regulars brought their new dog by for a visit. Nice dog, but it managed to unleash something solid on the upper floor; not quite what the bar owner was looking for after closing. It's clear not every creature should be invited in for drinks ... only the boozers.
January 13, 2012 (Top of Page)
Boozers always find their way to world-class cocktails, it's in their DNA. They gauge the sights and sounds to find the best bar in town, one that fosters good fellowship all around. Once they find the place to be, they settle in ... and order a Rye Whiskey Cocktail without fear. The best bartenders give it a good hard shake, because if the ice melts short, the taste could sting like a punch in the face. But when done right, aromatic bubbles of rye pop on top in pure delight. The sweetness and bitters are in just the right place, everyone has an approving look on their face, and there's a cherry at the bottom! Rye whiskey done proud. You want to know what's really pleasing? The Piña! This cocktail foams up on a big shake, pouring a soft top of pillowy pineapple and lime flavor. The body of the drink is beautiful and the honey is a nice touch. The tropical flavor hides the core strength, so it might knock you over, but with a smile.
These expert boozers sure know how to find the action!
Bartender Dan
January 6, 2012 (Top of Page) 
It's one week in and the future's waiting for you, so head to the local bar for some well-earned downtime, plus there's thinking to do. With forearms on the bar, get snug on your stool while the bartender slings the New World at you. It tastes solid, steady as she goes, blended whisky with some lime in the nose. You can hunker down with this drink and formulate the grand plan. It's a smooth, but powerful opener for the determined pro; that's you. Then, just after you figure out where to go, the bartender throws you the keys to the Ferrari. It's a very appealing thirst quencher with a light liquor impact. The scent is almost floral due to the almond vapor being inflected by lemon oil. You may find yourself asking for more, because this cocktail is way too easy to drink. It goes fast, so watch your speed! Since you've found your road, how about driving between the ditches and keeping the paint side up? You don't want to screw up your plans.
You've got the whole year ahead of you.
Bartender Dan